If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.
Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy.
I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
If at first you don't succeed, Call an airstrike.
Computer science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes.
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.
Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
I think computer viruses should count as life ... I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image.
If the automobile had followed the same development as the computer, a Rolls Royce would today cost $100 and get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year killing everyone inside.
Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it.
The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers.
If you don't want to be replaced by a computer, don't act like one.
I think computer viruses should count as life.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a programmer is doing until it's too late.
or simply:
