A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
The computer was born to solve problems that did not exist before.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
Computers are good at following instructions, but not at reading your mind.
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.
A computer will do what you tell it to do, but that may be much different from what you had in mind.
The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers.
Any fool can use a computer. Many do.
The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a programmer is doing until it's too late.
Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy.
If the automobile had followed the same development as the computer, a Rolls Royce would today cost $100 and get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year killing everyone inside.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works.
Computer language design is just like a stroll in the park. Jurassic Park, that is.
The best way to predict the future is to create it.
Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.
Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
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