Robert Orben Quotes

Quotes about:

• If at first you don't succeed-try, try again. Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as timed-release success.

  Robert Orben

  Motivational, Success, Failure

  73 Copy quote

• I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.

  Robert Orben

  Valentines Day, Girl, Heart

  Robert Orben (1969). “The Ad-libber's Handbook: 2000 New Laughs for Speakers”

  10 Copy quote

• Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!

  Robert Orben

  Happiness, Contagious, Carrier

  5 Copy quote

• Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

  Robert Orben

  Inspirational, Funny, Good Morning

  "Hitting Your Peak: Financial Strength" by Ryan Murphy, www.askmen.com.

  143 Copy quote

• Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.

  Robert Orben

  Motivational, Life And Love, People

  22 Copy quote

• Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.

  Robert Orben

  Inspirational, Funny, Time

  45 Copy quote

• There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.

  Robert Orben

  Fun, Air, Earth Day

  "Waiting to Inhale: Don't Take a Breath Without the Report From Our Air Pollution Control District". The San Diego Union-Tribune, January 31, 2008.

  74 Copy quote

• The next time you feel like complaining, remember that your garbage disposal probably eats better than 30 percent of the people in the world

  Robert Orben

  Love, Life, Family

  24 Copy quote

• A compliment is verbal sunshine.

  Robert Orben

  Sunshine, Compliment

  28 Copy quote

• Live your life so that if someone says 'Be yourself' it's good advice.

  Robert Orben

  Motivational, Being Yourself, Psychics

  Robert Orben (2012). “2400 Jokes to Brighten Your Speeches”, p.309, Doubleday

  25 Copy quote

• Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

  Robert Orben

  Humorous, Native American, Profound

  "They Said What?". Manly Daily, August 05, 2008.

  35 Copy quote

• Every speaker has a mouth; An arrangement rather neat. Sometimes it's filled with wisdom. Sometimes it's filled with feet.

  Robert Orben

  Wisdom, Feet, Mouths

  Robert Orben (2011). “2100 Laughs for All Occasions: Short, Sharp, Topical, and Funny--Arranged in Categories for Reading, Telling, Laughing”, p.146, Main Street Books

  7 Copy quote

• Have you noticed when you go on a diet, the first thing you lose is your temper.

  Robert Orben

  Health, Goes On, Firsts

  18 Copy quote

• The true test of humility is whether you can say grace before eating crow.

  Robert Orben

  Humility, Grace, Crow

  4 Copy quote

• A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.

  Robert Orben

  Work, Cute Life, Vacation

  "Local Legal Eagle Stages Sendup". The Denver Post, April 27, 2008.

  19 Copy quote

• I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.

  Robert Orben

  Funny, Children, Home

  "Something Weird". Attributed in "St. Louis Post-Dispatch", (p. 1D), June 10, 1991.

  7 Copy quote

• We have enough people who tell it like it is - now we could use a few who tell it like it can be.

  Robert Orben

  People, Use, Enough

  19 Copy quote

• Sociologists say that going to the movies is a bonding experience. It probably has to do with the way you feet stick to the floor.

  Robert Orben

  Feet, Way, Sticks

  5 Copy quote

• New Yorkers are so impersonal, if it wasn't for muggings there wouldn't be any contact at all!

  Robert Orben

  Cities, Contact, New Yorkers

  5 Copy quote

• A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.

  Robert Orben

  Funny, Graduation, Senior

  "A Few Tips for the Graduates". The Topeka Capital-Journal, abcnews.go.com. May 20, 2007.

  54 Copy quote

• To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

  Robert Orben

  Work, Technology, Geek

  17 Copy quote

• If you can laugh together, you can work together.

  Robert Orben

  Teamwork, Inspiration, Laughing

  Robert Orben (2000). “Speaker's Handbook of Humor”, Merriam Webster

  19 Copy quote

• Do your kids a favor - don't have any.

  Robert Orben

  Funny, Children, Kids

  11 Copy quote

• For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet.

  Robert Orben

  Father, Kids, Smell

  11 Copy quote

• Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!

  Robert Orben

  Girl, Funny Love, Confused

  Robert Orben (2012). “2500 Jokes to Start 'Em Laughing”, p.113, Doubleday

  54 Copy quote

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