Robert Orben Quotes

Quotes about:

• If at first you don't succeed-try, try again. Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as timed-release success.

  Robert Orben

  Motivational, Success, Failure

  59 Copy quote

• A compliment is verbal sunshine.

  Robert Orben

  Sunshine, Compliment

  25 Copy quote

• Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

  Robert Orben

  Inspirational, Funny, Good Morning

  "Hitting Your Peak: Financial Strength" by Ryan Murphy, www.askmen.com.

  135 Copy quote

• The next time you feel like complaining, remember that your garbage disposal probably eats better than 30 percent of the people in the world

  Robert Orben

  Love, Life, Family

  20 Copy quote

• Live your life so that if someone says 'Be yourself' it's good advice.

  Robert Orben

  Motivational, Being Yourself, Psychics

  Robert Orben (2012). “2400 Jokes to Brighten Your Speeches”, p.309, Doubleday

  22 Copy quote

• Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.

  Robert Orben

  Motivational, Life And Love, People

  18 Copy quote

• Have you noticed when you go on a diet, the first thing you lose is your temper.

  Robert Orben

  Health, Goes On, Firsts

  15 Copy quote

• Vacation: When you spend thousands of dollars to see what rain looks like in different parts of the world.

  Robert Orben

  Rain, Vacation, Different

  0 Copy quote

• Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.

  Robert Orben

  Inspirational, Funny, Time

  36 Copy quote

• A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.

  Robert Orben

  Work, Cute Life, Vacation

  "Local Legal Eagle Stages Sendup". The Denver Post, April 27, 2008.

  16 Copy quote

• There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.

  Robert Orben

  Fun, Air, Earth Day

  "Waiting to Inhale: Don't Take a Breath Without the Report From Our Air Pollution Control District". The San Diego Union-Tribune, January 31, 2008.

  48 Copy quote

• We have enough people who tell it like it is - now we could use a few who tell it like it can be.

  Robert Orben

  People, Use, Enough

  16 Copy quote

• Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

  Robert Orben

  Humorous, Native American, Profound

  "They Said What?". Manly Daily, August 05, 2008.

  28 Copy quote

• It's amazing how important your job is when you want the day off - and how unimportant it is when you want a raise.

  Robert Orben

  Jobs, Important, Days Off

  1 Copy quote

• A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.

  Robert Orben

  Funny, Graduation, Senior

  "A Few Tips for the Graduates". The Topeka Capital-Journal, abcnews.go.com. May 20, 2007.

  48 Copy quote

• Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're all on the road to the grave - but there's no need to be in the passing lane.

  Robert Orben

  Needs, Too Much, Drink

  1 Copy quote

• More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back auto payments.

  Robert Orben

  Funny, Money, Suffering

  "Consumer's Edge". San Antonio Express-News, September 14, 2007.

  13 Copy quote

• My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age.

  Robert Orben

  Lying, Humorous, Wife

  1 Copy quote

• To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

  Robert Orben

  Work, Technology, Geek

  14 Copy quote

• If you can laugh together, you can work together.

  Robert Orben

  Teamwork, Inspiration, Laughing

  Robert Orben (2000). “Speaker's Handbook of Humor”, Merriam Webster

  13 Copy quote

• Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.

  Robert Orben

  Government, Way, Politician

  5 Copy quote

• I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.

  Robert Orben

  Clothes, Use, Boxers

  5 Copy quote

• Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.

  Robert Orben

  Successful, Fortune Cookie, Common

  Robert Orben (1979). “2500 jokes to start 'em laughing”, Doubleday Books

  7 Copy quote

• I may be forty, but every morning when I get up, I feel like a twenty-year-old. Unfortunately, there's never one around.

  Robert Orben

  Morning, Years, Twenties

  7 Copy quote

• I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted baby food.

  Robert Orben

  Mom, Baby, Food

  5 Copy quote

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