If at first you don't succeed-try, try again. Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as timed-release success.
I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.
Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.
There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.
The next time you feel like complaining, remember that your garbage disposal probably eats better than 30 percent of the people in the world
A compliment is verbal sunshine.
Live your life so that if someone says 'Be yourself' it's good advice.
Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.
Every speaker has a mouth; An arrangement rather neat. Sometimes it's filled with wisdom. Sometimes it's filled with feet.
Have you noticed when you go on a diet, the first thing you lose is your temper.
The true test of humility is whether you can say grace before eating crow.
A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.
I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
We have enough people who tell it like it is - now we could use a few who tell it like it can be.
Sociologists say that going to the movies is a bonding experience. It probably has to do with the way you feet stick to the floor.
New Yorkers are so impersonal, if it wasn't for muggings there wouldn't be any contact at all!
A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.
To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
If you can laugh together, you can work together.
Do your kids a favor - don't have any.
For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet.
Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!
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