Robert Orben Quotes - Page 4

Quotes about:

• I'd be surprised if Ronald Reagan doesn't run again. To us it's a second term. To him it's a double feature.

  Robert Orben

  Running, Term, Features

  "Is the Presidency Really So Fragile That Leaks Can Destroy It?" by Lou Cannon, The Washington Post, p. A3, January 17, 1983.

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• Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.

  Robert Orben

  Desks, Bigs

  Robert Orben (2012). “2400 Jokes to Brighten Your Speeches”, p.293, Doubleday

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• Individuality' is the key to success.

  Robert Orben

  Keys, Individuality, Key To Success

  Robert Orben (2012). “2400 Jokes to Brighten Your Speeches”, p.206, Doubleday

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• The Playboy Calendar this year has some tiptop models. Any more top and they'd tip.

  Robert Orben

  Years, Calendars, Playboy

  Robert Orben (2012). “2500 Jokes to Start 'Em Laughing”, p.252, Doubleday

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• The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet.

  Robert Orben

  Birthday, Funny Birthday, Funny Happy Birthday

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• Humor is the most honest of emotions. Applause for a speech can be insincere, but with humor, if the audience doesn't like it there's no faking it.

  Robert Orben

  Speech, Emotion, Honest

  "A Little Night Humor" by Leslie Berger, The Washington Post, C1, January 28, 1982.

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• THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin.

  Robert Orben

  Two, Would Be, World

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• Economists can certainly disappoint you. One said that the economy would turn up by the last quarter. Well, I'm down to mine and it hasn't.

  Robert Orben

  Lasts, Economy, Quarters

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• Realists know where they're going. Dreamers have already been there.

  Robert Orben

  Dreamer, Realist, Knows

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• The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.

  Robert Orben

  Writing, Secret, Comedy

  "Life in the Laugh Factory" by Henry Allen, The Washington Post, p. B1, January 4, 1979.

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• A sigh is an amplifier for people who suffer in silence.

  Robert Orben

  Funny, People, Silence

  Robert Orben (2012). “2400 Jokes to Brighten Your Speeches”, p.312, Doubleday

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• What if the meek inherited the Earth and we had to defend ourselves from Martians?

  Robert Orben

  What If, Religion, Earth

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• A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace.

  Robert Orben

  War, Weapons, Rust

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• I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'

  Robert Orben

  Yesterday, Wonder, Share

  Robert Orben (2012). “2500 Jokes to Start 'Em Laughing”, p.336, Doubleday

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• Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.

  Robert Orben

  Country, Feelings, World

  "The Tribune's View: The oil crisis - Shall we continue to fiddle?" by Henry J. Waters III, Columbia Daily Tribune, April 29, 2008.

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• We're supposed to take our problems to a family adviser. Personally, I've never met a family adviser. They're all off somewhere listening to dirty stories.

  Robert Orben

  Family, Dirty, Listening

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• There are only two kinds of people in this world. The realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they are going and the dreamers have already been there.

  Robert Orben

  Two, People, Dreamer

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• Do you realize that in the past sixty years, the only foreigners the French have been able to drive out are American tourists?

  Robert Orben

  Travel, Home, Past

  Robert Orben (1978). “2000 new laughs for speakers: the ad-libber's handbook”, Random House Value Pub

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• It always seems to someone outside the business that it is very difficult to write for a comedy show because it must be done quickly. Actually, it is much easier to write this humor than to do a joke or a show from scratch, because the audience knows the plot. Just mention what is going on and then deliver the punch line.

  Robert Orben

  Writing, Scratches, Plot

  "Scandal feeds maelstrom of Clinton jokes - 'Monicagate' a windfall for TV wits" by Lauren Keeport, The Washington Times, p. A2, February 3, 1998.

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• In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh.

  Robert Orben

  Humor, Fighting, Two

  Robert Orben (2011). “2100 Laughs for All Occasions: Short, Sharp, Topical, and Funny--Arranged in Categories for Reading, Telling, Laughing”, p.7, Main Street Books

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• Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.

  Robert Orben

  Years, Wildfires

  "The Jokers Take Heart - Pundits Ponder The Implications". The Washington Post, May 06, 1987.

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• Did you ever figure to be living in a time when your check is good, but the bank bounces?

  Robert Orben

  Checks, Figures, Bounce

  "Title: Alison DaRosa" by Alison DaRosa, Evening Tribune, Union-Tribune Publishing Co., p. B-1, November 26, 1985.

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• I'd like to say a few words about one of the most popular concepts in the modern education--show and tell. Show and Tell is a device created by grammar schools to communicate family secrets to 32 other families before 9:15 am in the morning.

  Robert Orben

  Education, Morning, Teaching

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• All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it; but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.

  Robert Orben

  Grief, Mean, Years

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• It's mandatory in this day and age to be considered to have a sense of humor and to demonstrate it. You're not paying me for a joke, You're paying me for the right joke.

  Robert Orben

  Age, Sense Of Humor, Jokes

  "Backstory: Serious business of jokes in politics". Gail Russell Chaddock, Christian Science Monitor, December 9, 2005.

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