Funny Birthday Quotes

• May you live to be 100 and may the last voice you hear be mine.

  Frank Sinatra

  Happy Birthday, Music, Voice

  71 Copy quote

• After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.

  Bette Midler

  Mind, Age, Body

  65 Copy quote

• Success is like reaching an important birthday and finding you're exactly the same.

  Audrey Hepburn

  Birthday, Success, Disappointment

  "Audrey Hepburn : A Life in Pictures". Book by Yann-Brice Dherbier, Pierre-Henri Verlhac, 2007.

  58 Copy quote

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• Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

  Mark Twain

  Inspirational, Funny, Motivational

  585 Copy quote

• Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.

  Maurice Chevalier

  Funny, Birthday, Health

  Quoted in James B. Simpson, Contemporary Quotations (1964)

  32 Copy quote

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• A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

  Robert Frost

  Funny, Happy Birthday, Growing Up

  136 Copy quote

• Pie can't compete with cake. Put candles in a cake, it's a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, someone's drunk in the kitchen.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Funny, Humor, Cake

  "Jim Gaffigan: Beyond the Pale", www.imdb.com. 2006.

  10 Copy quote

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• Age is something that doesn't matter unless you're a cheese

  Luis Bunuel

  Funny, Cheese Sandwiches, 50th Birthday

  20 Copy quote

• It is lovely, when I forget all birthdays, including my own, to find that somebody remembers me.

  Ellen Glasgow

  Birthday, Lovely, Forget The Past

  Ellen Anderson Gholson Glasgow (1958). “Letters of Ellen Glasgow”

  21 Copy quote

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  The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.

  Lucille Ball

  Happy Birthday, Beauty, Funny Inspirational

  170 Copy quote

• When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

  Mark Twain

  Birthday, Growing Up, Memories

  "Mark Twain's Own Autobiography," North American Review, 1 Mar. 1907

  27 Copy quote

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• Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!

  Dr. Seuss

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  "Happy Birthday to You!". Book by Dr. Seuss, 1959.

  195 Copy quote

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• When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Time, Humor

  77 Copy quote

• You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

  Bob Hope

  Funny, Happy Birthday, Humorous

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  56 Copy quote

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  The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Happy Birthday, Growing Up

  "Phrases and Philosophies for the Use of the Young" (1894)

  83 Copy quote

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• Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.

  Jean Paul

  Happy Birthday, Time, Wings

  10 Copy quote

• There must be a day or two in a man's life when he is the precise age for something important.

  Franklin P. Adams

  Birthday, Men, Two

  Franklin P. Adams (1944). “Nods and Becks”

  17 Copy quote

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• Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.

  Arthur Schopenhauer

  Birthday, Congratulations, Age

  130 Copy quote

• Every year on your birthday, you get a chance to start new.

  Sammy Hagar

  Happy Birthday, Years, Inspirational Birthday

  64 Copy quote

• A man who views the world the same at fifty as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life.

  Muhammad Ali

  Life, Motivational, Happy Birthday

  Muhammad Ali (2016). “Muhammad Ali Unfiltered: Rare, Iconic, and Officially Authorized Photos of the Greatest”, p.201, Simon and Schuster

  69 Copy quote

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• You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.

  Germaine Greer

  Life, Happy Birthday, Happiness

  271 Copy quote

• The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down.

  George Eliot

  Funny, Happy Birthday, Time

  54 Copy quote

• The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.

  Oprah Winfrey

  Inspirational, Life, Motivational

  76 Copy quote

• I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.

  Phyllis Diller

  Cute, Birthday, Funny Relationship

  Phyllis Diller (1981). “The joys of aging--and how to avoid them: can sex keep you young? And other silly questions”, Doubleday Books

  15 Copy quote

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• You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Happy Birthday, Blow, Cake

  13 Copy quote