A true friend will see you through when others see that you are through.
Reality is for people who can't face drugs.
Incompetence plus incompetence equals incompetence.
Fools rush in where wise men fear to trade.
The modern child will answer you back before you've said anything.
The machinery of government is a vast series of interlocking hierarchies riddled through and through with incompetence.
Many an optimist has become rich simply by buying out a pessimist.
If the outcome is good, what's the difference between motives that sound good and good, sound motives?
There is no stigma attached to recognizing a bad decision in time to install a better one.
Humility is the embarrassment you feel when you tell people how wonderful you are.
Everyone is in awe of the lion tamer in a cage with half a dozen lions-everyone but a school bus driver.
As the farmer said, "I'm not greedy, all I want is the land next to mine.
Computers can solve all kinds of problems except the unemployment problem they create.
When I want your opinion I'll give it to you.
Would the boy you were be proud of the man you are?
If at first you don't succeed, lie, lie again.
An optimist expects his dreams to come true; a pessimist expects his nightmares to.
A free press is one that prints a dictator's speech but doesn't have to.
You shouldn't punish others for your own choices.
There are more pretty photographs of women than there are photographs of pretty women.
It's better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week.
You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.
There are some men who in a fifty-fifty proposition insist on getting the hyphen too.
Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.
We are members of a strange species that devotes its energies to climbing the ladder of success in order to make money to buy things we don't like.
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