Lisa Lampanelli Quotes

• Jeff Foxworthy is a legend. Every time I see his moustache it reminds me to wax my lip and every time I hear his jokes it reminds me to wipe my ass.

  Lisa Lampanelli

  Wipe, Legends, Lips

  11 Copy quote

• Usually I'm on top to keep the guy from escaping.

  Lisa Lampanelli

  Sex, Funny Sex, Escaping

  6 Copy quote

• I'm decorating my parents' house for Christmas... I hope they find my manger with a baby yeezus in it as funny as I do!

  Lisa Lampanelli

  Baby, Women, House

  FaceBook post by Lisa Lampanelli from Dec 17, 2013

  6 Copy quote

• Larry the Cable Guy has everything: sleeveless shirts, stupid catchphrases. He's Mr. T without the acting chops.

  Lisa Lampanelli

  Stupid, Guy, Acting

  8 Copy quote

• Even going on stage is a service because it brings people up from thinking about their lost job or their lost spouse or something like that, so that even helps people when I'm doing comedy; it's all done to make them laugh.

  Lisa Lampanelli

  Jobs, Thinking, People

  Source: brightestyoungthings.com

  4 Copy quote

• A lot of comics just joke around, but it's just as important to get the truth out there.

  Lisa Lampanelli

  Important, Jokes

  Source: brightestyoungthings.com

  4 Copy quote

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