Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.
The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.
It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.
Some folks can look so busy doing nothing that they seem indispensable.
Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while.
We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate.
Nothing dispels enthusiasm like a small admission fee.
The worst feature of a new baby is its mother's singing.
If some people didn't tell you, you'd never know they'd been away on a vacation.
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