Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
A demagogue is a person with whom we disagree as to which gang should mismanage the country.
When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?'
If a child shows himself incorrigible, he should be decently and quietly beheaded at the age of twelve, lest he grow to maturity, marry, and perpetuate his kind.
personally my ambition is to get my time as a cockroach shortened for good behavior and be promoted to a revenue officer it is not much of a step up but i am humble
Man cannot be uplifted; he must be seduced into virtue
When you can't have anything else, you can have virtue.
The chief obstacle to the progress of the human race is the human race.
Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint.
Blood will tell, but often it tells too much.
Too many creatures both insects and humans estimate their own value by the amount of minor irritation they are able to cause to greater personalities than themselves.
An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe in it.
A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.
Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
Not every woman in old slippers can manage to look like Cinderella
If you want to get rich from writing, write the sort of thing that's read by persons who move their lips when they're reading to themselves.
A sequel is an admission that you've been reduced to imitating yourself.
Ideas pull the trigger, but instinct loads the gun.
Punctuality is one of the cardinal business virtues: always insist on it in your subordinates.
Publishing a volume of verse is like dropping a rose petal down the Grand Canyon and waiting for the echo.
Happiness is the interval between periods of unhappiness.
Give up the dream that Love may trick the fates To live again somewhere beyond the gleam Of dying stars, or shatter the strong gates Some god has builded high; give up the dream.
There was once a Hindu sage, who sat down on the banks of the Ganges and thought for seventy years about the millennium. Just as he arrived at the solution and was putting it into verse, a mosquito stung him and he forgot it again at once.
An old stomach reforms more whiskey drinkers than a new resolve.
It is a cheering thought to think that God is on the side of the best digestion.
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