Of all the hazards, fear is the worst.
These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.
Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at it.
Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious.
Playing golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture.
Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad.
You are meant to play the ball as it lies, a fact that may help to touch on your own objective approach to life.
In golf as in life, it's the follow through that makes the difference.
Reverse every natural instinct and do the opposite of what you are inclined to do, and you will probably come very close to having a perfect golf swing.
I never learned anything from a match that I won.
Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life not to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy.
Writing is the most fun you can have by yourself.
The mind messes up more shots than the body.
Be decisive. A wrong decision is generally less disastrous than indecision.
John certainly gives it a good hit, doesn't he? My Sunday best is a Wednesday afternoon compared to him.
After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.
I never pray to God to make a putt. I pray to God to help me react good if I miss a putt.
Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.
The golf swing is like a suitcase into which we are trying to pack one too many things.
My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.
I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.
Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn't a lot of strokes when you consider the course.
It's a funny thing, the more I practice the luckier I get.
It's so bad I could putt off a tabletop and still leave the ball halfway down the leg.
My body is here, but my mind has already teed off.
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