There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
The triumph of hope over experience.
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.
I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't.
People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
Come live in my heart, and pay no rent.
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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