P. J. O'Rourke Quotes - Page 4

Quotes about:

• The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Kids, Three, Looks

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  10 Copy quote

• I can understand why mankind hasn't given up war. During a war you get to drive tanks through the sides of buildings and shoot foreigners - two things that are usually frowned on during peacetime.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  War, Two, Tanks

  "Holidays in Hell". Book by P. J. O'Rourke, 1989.

  15 Copy quote

• I rarely meet a politician that I don't like personally. They are generally well endowed with charm. Therein lies the danger.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Lying, Politician, Danger

  21 Copy quote

• Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores are us.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Democracies Have, Government, Democracy

  Parliament of Whores (1991)

  21 Copy quote

• B students work for C students - A students teach.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Students, Teach

  "A Government of Know-it-Alls". www.cbsnews.com. April 27, 2010.

  6 Copy quote

• If you spend seventy-two hours in a place you've never been, talking to people whose language you don't speak about social, political, and economic complexities you don't understand, and you come back as the world's biggest know-it-all, you're a reporter.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Talking, Two, People

  P. J. O'Rourke (2015). “Thrown Under the Omnibus: A Reader”, p.1071, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

  10 Copy quote

• With Epcot Center, the Disney corporation has accomplished something I didn't think possible in today's world. They have created a land of make-believe that's worse than regular life.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Life, Believe, Thinking

  P.J. O'Rourke (2012). “Holidays in Hell”, p.160, Atlantic Books Ltd

  34 Copy quote

• No one has ever had a fantasy about being tied to a bed and sexually ravished by someone dressed as a liberal

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Bed, Fantasy, Sexually

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Give War a Chance: Eyewitness Accounts of Mankind's Struggle Against Tyranny, Injustice, and Alcohol-Free Beer”, p.22, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

  18 Copy quote

• I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a 'learning experience.' It makes me feel less stupid.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Stupid, Silly, Thinking

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Give War a Chance: Eyewitness Accounts of Mankind's Struggle Against Tyranny, Injustice, and Alcohol-Free Beer”, p.94, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

  8 Copy quote

• The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I don't know.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Drinking, Coffee, Glasses

  P. J. O'Rourke (2015). “Thrown Under the Omnibus: A Reader”, p.154, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

  19 Copy quote

• We're gonna be in a world of hurt if we don't get it fixed, because there's going to be billions of people out there - they're hungry, they're mad. One thing that they can get their hands on is guns.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Hurt, Gun, Hands

  Source: www.avclub.com

  4 Copy quote

• Microeconomics is about money you don't have, and macroeconomics is about money the government is out of.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Government, Macroeconomics, Microeconomics

  P. J. O'Rourke (2011). “Eat the Rich: A Treatise on Economics”, p.74, Pan Macmillan

  23 Copy quote

• When are the world's political parties going to get appropriate symbols: snake, louse, jackal, ... trash can, clown face, ... dollar bill with bat wings on it?

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Party, Snakes, Wings

  16 Copy quote

• You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Family, Children, Growing Up

  12 Copy quote

• The key ingredient of politics is the idea that all of society's ills can be cured politically. It's like a cookbook where the recipe for everything is to fry it. The fruit cocktail is fried.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Keys, Ideas, Recipes

  4 Copy quote

• The preamble to the Constitution states: "We, the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquillity, provide for the common defence, promote the general welfare..." It doesn't say "guarantee the general welfare." And it certainly doesn't say "give welfare benefits to all the people in the country who aren't doing so well even if the reason they aren't doing so well is because they're sitting on their butts in front of the TV".

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Country, Order, Perfect

  36 Copy quote

• Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Christian, Atheist, Fun

  11 Copy quote

• People are all exactly alike. There's no such thing as a race and barely such a thing as an ethnic group. If we were dogs, we'd be the same breed. George Bush and an Australian Aborigine have fewer differences than a Lhasa apso and a toy fox terrier. A Japanese raised in Riyadh would be an Arab. A Zulu raised in New Rochelle would be an orthodontist. People are all the same, though their circumstances differ terribly.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Dog, Race, Differences

  52 Copy quote

• Dates used to be made days or even weeks in advance. Now dates tend to be made the day after. That is, you get a phone call from someone who says, "If anyone asks, I was out to dinner with you last night, okay?"

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Night, Phones, Dating

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People”, p.99, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

  5 Copy quote

• We're told cars cause pollution. A hundred years ago city streets were ankle deep in horse excrement. What kind of pollution do you want? Would you rather die of cancer at eighty or typhoid fever at nine?

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Horse, Cancer, Years

  "Age and Guile Beat Youth, Innocence, and a Bad Haircut". Book by P. J. O'Rourke, 1996.

  10 Copy quote

• The difference between corporations and governments is governments have a monopoly on force. It's a lot easier to vote with your feet or your wallet than it is to change a government with your vote.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Government, Differences, Feet

  4 Copy quote

• We'll run this planet as we please, and if you don't like it, go back where we came from.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Running, Government, Planets

  4 Copy quote

• And worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. This is especially true if we're careful to pick the biggest possible problems to worry about. Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody want to help Mom do the dishes.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Mom, Worry, Earth

  4 Copy quote

• So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else available. Western civilization not only provides a bit of life, a pinch of liberty and the occasional pursuance of happiness, it's also the only thing that's ever tried to. Our civilization is the first in history to show even the slightest concern for average, undistinguished, none-too-commendable people like us.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Average, Europe, Civilization

  7 Copy quote

• This country was founded by religious nuts with guns.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Country, Religious, Gun

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Age and Guile Beat Youth, Innocence, and a Bad Haircut”, p.228, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

  8 Copy quote

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