A Yuppie is someone who believes it's courageous to eat in a restaurant that hasn't been reviewed yet.
We all know that America is the worst country in the world, except for all the others.
You know what I want you to do? I want you to blow out the candle and curse the darkness.
Obama says his recreation consists of reading the Constitution... looking for a loophole.
This matter of two sides to every question is bad logic and bad practice: sometimes there are no sides; sometimes there are a hundred.
Hillary's explanation of the Libyan action to Congress was so good, I wonder who explained it to her?
I watched Ken Burns' Civil War series on PBS. My favorite segment is when Bob Hope entertains the troops at Gettysburg.
The New York Times is the official leak of the State Department.
A conservative doesn't want anything to happen for the first time; a liberal feels it should happen, but not now.
Most people past college age are not atheists. It's too hard to be in society, for one thing. Because you don't get any days off. And if you're an agnostic you don't know whether you get them off or not.
I found people looked better when they laughed
My whole life is a movie. It's just that there are no dissolves. I have to live every agonizing moment of it. My life needs editing.
Reagan won because he ran against Jimmy Carter. If he ran unopposed he would have lost.
We would have broken up except for the children. Who were the children? Well, she and I were.
Everything I tell you is true, but this is factual.
Those who the gods would make rich and famous on TV, they first drive mad.
I took benzedrine - I got clairvoyance. With benzedrine you can have a very wide view of the world, like you can decide the destiny of man and other pressing problems, such as which is the left sock?
you don't know what you think unless you say it.
New book on Malcolm X says we don't know how he was killed. Want to bring in the FBI. Maybe they were in already.
I went to computer class with my Dell and I was bullied by a guy with a Mac.
You know me, I love lost causes.
I never met a man I didn't like until I met Will Rogers.
I used to go out with actresses and other female impersonators.
What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas - except the drone.
Remember when movies were just good or bad, before auteurs, film festivals, and guys from USC who were the first to shoot underwater?
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