Jerome K. Jerome Quotes - Page 5

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• I don't understand German myself. I learned it at school, but forgot every word of it two years after I had left, and have felt much better ever since.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Funny, Humorous, School

  Jerome K. Jerome (2006). “Jerome K. Jerome: 14 Books in 1”, p.26, Shoes & Ships & Sealing Wax

  7 Copy quote

• Evil thought is a dangerous pet. It is safer to play with it from behind the iron bars of circumstance.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Play, Iron, Evil

  Jerome K. Jerome, Carolyn Oulton (2012). “Weeds: A Story in Seven Chapters”, p.60, Victorian Secrets

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• I attribute the quarrelsome nature of the Middle Ages young men entirely to the want of the soothing weed.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Weed, Nature, Marijuana

  Jerome K. Jerome (2013). “Three Men in a Boat (illustrated) + Three Men on the Bummel + Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow: The best of Jerome K. Jerome”, p.369, e-artnow

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• Idleness, like kisses, to be sweet must be stolen.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Funny, Sweet, Time

  Jerome K. Jerome (2016). “The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow”, p.7, Jerome K. Jerome

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• Some people are under the impression that all that is required to make a good fisherman is the ability to tell lies easily and without blushing; but this is a mistake.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Mistake, Lying, People

  Jerome K. Jerome (2006). “Jerome K. Jerome: 14 Books in 1”, p.55, Shoes & Ships & Sealing Wax

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• There are the goods; if you want them, you can have them. If you do not want them, they would almost rather that you did not come and talk about them.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Want, Goods, Ifs

  Jerome K. Jerome, Geoffrey Harvey (2008). “Three Men in a Boat and Three Men on the Bummel”, p.321, Oxford University Press

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• I love the chill October days, when the brown leaves lie thick and sodden underneath your feet ... the evenings in late autumn time, when the white mist creeps across the fields, making it seem as though old Earth, feeling the night air cold to its poor bones, were drawing ghostly bedclothes round its withered limbs.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Lying, Autumn, Night

  Jerome K. Jerome (2015). “Silhouettes”, p.5, Read Books Ltd

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• Man, if he would live, must worship. He looks around, and what to him, within the vision of his life, is the greatest and the best, that he falls down and does reverence to.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Fall, Men, Vision

  Jerome K. Jerome “Clocks”, Library of Alexandria

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• The odour of Burgundy, and the smell of French sauces, and the sight of clean napkins and long loaves, knocked as a very welcome visitor at the door of our inner man.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Wine, Men, Sight

  Jerome K. Jerome (1998). “Three Men in a Boat and Three Men on the Bummel”, p.159, OUP Oxford

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• Cheese, like oil, makes too much of itself.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Oil, Too Much, Cheese

  Jerome K. Jerome (2014). “Three Men in a Boat: To Say Nothing of the Dog”, p.53, Diderot Publishing

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• Swearing relieves the feelings - that is what swearing does. I explained this to my aunt on one occasion, but it didn't answer with her. She said I had no business to have such feelings.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Funny, Humorous, Aunt

  Jerome K. Jerome (2016). “The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow”, p.67, Jerome K. Jerome

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• "Not sure," he retorted; "you call yourself a journalist, and admit there is a subject under Heaven of which you are not sure!"

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Funny, Heaven, Journalism

  Jerome K. Jerome (2012). “The Second Thoughts of an Idle Fellow”, p.118, The Floating Press

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• It is easy enough to say that poverty is no crime. No; if it were men wouldn't be ashamed of it. It is a blunder, though, and is punished as such. A poor man is despised the whole world over.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Men, World, Poverty

  Jerome K. Jerome (2016). “The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow”, p.32, Jerome K. Jerome

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• Harris said, however, that the river would suit him to a "T." I don't know what a "T" is (except a sixpenny one, which includes bread-and- butter and cake AD LIB., and is cheap at the price, if you haven't had any dinner). It seems to suit everybody, however, which is greatly to its credit.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Cake, Rivers, Credit

  Jerome K. Jerome (2006). “Jerome K. Jerome: 14 Books in 1”, p.7, Shoes & Ships & Sealing Wax

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• So, eventually, he made one final arrangement with himself, which he has religiously held to ever since, and that was to count each fish that he caught as ten, and to assume ten to begin with. For example, if he did not catch any fish at all, then he said he had caught ten fish - you could never catch less than ten fish by his system; that was the foundation of it. Then, if by any chance he really did catch one fish, he called it twenty, while two fish would count thirty, three forty, and so on.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Sea, Fishing, Two

  Jerome K. Jerome (2014). “Three Men in a Boat: To Say Nothing of the Dog”, p.297, Diderot Publishing

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• When you forget to take the sail at all, then the wind is constantly in your favour both ways. But there! this world is only a probation, and man was born to trouble as the sparks fly upward.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Adversity, Men, Wind

  Jerome K. Jerome (2012). “Three Men in a Boat: (To Say Nothing of the Dog)”, p.85, Courier Corporation

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• It's really extraordinary what a variety of ways of loving there must be. We all do it as it was never done before.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Love, Funny, Done

  Jerome K. Jerome (2016). “The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow”, p.118, Jerome K. Jerome

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• We want everything. All the happiness that earth and heaven are capable of bestowing. Creature comforts, and heart and soul comforts also; and, proud-spirited beings that we are, we will not be put off with a part. Give us only everything, and we will be content. And, after all, Cinderella, you have had your day. Some little dogs never get theirs. You must not be greedy. You have KNOWN happiness. The palace was Paradise for those few months, and the Prince's arms were about you, Cinderella, the Prince's kisses on your lips; the gods themselves cannot take THAT from you.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Dog, Heart, Kissing

  Jerome K. Jerome (2012). “The Second Thoughts of an Idle Fellow”, p.30, The Floating Press

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• It takes 3 girls to tow always; two to hold the rope, and the other one runs round and round, and giggles.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Girl, Running, Two

  Jerome K. Jerome (2014). “Three Men in a Boat: To Say Nothing of the Dog”, p.151, Diderot Publishing

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• I plodded conscientiously through the twenty-six letters, and the only malady I could conclude I had not got was housemaid's knee.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Twenties, Letters, Knees

  Jerome K. Jerome (2014). “Three Men in a Boat: To Say Nothing of the Dog”, p.9, Diderot Publishing

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• I also think pronunciation of a foreign tongue could be better taught than by demanding from the pupil those internal acrobatic feats that are generally impossible and always useless. This is the sort of instruction one receives : “Press your tonsils against the underside of your larynx. Then with the convex part of the septum curved upwards so as almost — but not quite — to touch the uvula, try with the tip of your tongue to reach your thyroid. Take a deep breath, and compress your glottis. Now without opening your lips say "Garoo".' And when you have done it they are not satisfied.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Thinking, Trying, Done

  "The Selected Work of Jerome K. Jerome".

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• The proverbial Englishman, we know from old chronicler Froissart, takes his pleasures sadly, and the Englishwoman goes a step further and takes her pleasures in sadness itself.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Funny, Humorous, Sadness

  Jerome K. Jerome (2016). “The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow”, p.26, Jerome K. Jerome

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• Love is woman's business,and in "business" we all lay aside our natural weaknesses.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Love Is, Weakness, Natural

  Jerome K. Jerome “The Selected Work of Jerome K. Jerome”, Library of Alexandria

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• Love is too pure a light to burn long among the noisome gases that we breathe, but before it is choked out we may use it as a torch to ignite the cozy fire of affection.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Love, Funny, Fire

  Jerome K. Jerome (2016). “The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow”, p.15, Jerome K. Jerome

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• It is only the first baby that takes up the whole of a woman's time.Five or six do not require nearly so much attention as one.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Baby, Attention, Firsts

  Jerome K. Jerome (2016). “The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow”, p.94, Jerome K. Jerome

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