Garrison Keillor Quotes - Page 4

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• IMPORTANT Book reading is a solitary and sedentary pursuit, and those who do are cautioned that a book should be used as an integral part of a well-rounded life, including a daily regimen of rigorous physical exercise, rewarding personal relationships, and sensible low-fat diet. A book should not be used a as a substitute or an excuse.

  Garrison Keillor

  Book, Reading, Exercise

  14 Copy quote

• Jesus said the meek would inherit the earth, but so far all we've gotten is Minnesota and North Dakota.

  Garrison Keillor

  Jesus, Earth, Minnesota

  "When I’m 64". www.salon.com. August 09, 2006.

  7 Copy quote

• A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer.

  Garrison Keillor

  Home, Able, Noon

  Garrison Keillor (1990). “Lake Wobegon Days”, p.83, Penguin

  23 Copy quote

• It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.

  Garrison Keillor

  Air, Luxury, Empires

  "Simpson's Contemporary Quotations". Book by James B. Simpson, p. 211, 1988.

  86 Copy quote

• I want to resume the life of a shy person.

  Garrison Keillor

  Shy, Want, Resumes

  "A Prairie Home Companion", February 14, 1987.

  8 Copy quote

• When writing loses touch with the beautiful surface of the world, it loses its way. You always want to be in touch with how things look and what people say and what they call their dogs.

  Garrison Keillor

  Beautiful, Dog, Writing

  17 Copy quote

• I am a cheerful man, even in the dark, and it's all thanks to a good Lutheran mother. . . . Mother was well composed, a true Lutheran, and taught me to Cheer up, Make yourself useful, Mind your manners, and above all, Don't feel sorry for yourself.

  Garrison Keillor

  Mother, Cheer, Sorry

  Garrison Keillor (1998). “Wobegon Boy”, p.9, Penguin

  11 Copy quote

• Freedom doesn't mean aimlessness. We can't just sleepwalk through life.... Freedom demands structure.

  Garrison Keillor

  Freedom, Mean, Demand

  Garrison Keillor (2009). “Liberty: A Novel of Lake Wobegon”, p.24, Faber & Faber

  7 Copy quote

• Sex is not a mechanical act that fails for lack of technique, and it is not a performance by the male for the audience of the female; it is a continuum of attraction that extends from the simplest conversation and the most innocent touching through the act of coitus.

  Garrison Keillor

  Sex, Touching, Technique

  13 Copy quote

• TV news is as bloody as Shakespeare but without the intelligence and the poetry. If you watch television news you know less about the world than if you drank gin out of a bottle

  Garrison Keillor

  Tv News, Watches, Bottles

  7 Copy quote

• When you're a little kid, your heart is open and tender and a harsh word can go straight in and become part of your life.

  Garrison Keillor

  Heart, Kids, Littles

  11 Copy quote

• When it comes to finding available men in Minnesota, the odds are good, but the goods are odd.

  Garrison Keillor

  Men, Odds, Minnesota

  12 Copy quote

• I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.

  Garrison Keillor

  Fake People, Believe, Eye

  "Precision Shooting : The Trapshooter's Bible‎". Book by James Russell, 1998.

  10 Copy quote

• Have interesting failures.... If you need to have a personal crisis have it now. Don't wait until midlife, when it will take longer to resolve.... Don't pity yourselves. Lighten up. Seek people with a sense of humor. Avoid humorless people-and do not marry one, for God's sake.

  Garrison Keillor

  Interesting, People, Waiting

  9 Copy quote

• When the New Yorker turned down work, they turned it down in such an elaborately gentlemanly way making apologies for their own shortsightedness. Undoubtedly it was their fault but somehow for some reason this fell short of the remarkably high standard that you by your own work have set for yourself. They had a way of rejecting my work that made me feel sorry for them somehow.

  Garrison Keillor

  Sorry, Apology, Way

  "Humor has to surprise us, otherwise it isn't funny". Interview with George Plimpton, blankonblank.org. November 28, 1994.

  12 Copy quote

• A compassionate conservative is someone who electrocutes juveniles but lets them have a last 'make a wish'.

  Garrison Keillor

  Wish, Lasts, Conservative

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• Children can find other children to be pals. Children need fathers to be fathers.

  Garrison Keillor

  Children, Dad, Father

  Garrison Keillor (1990). “Lake Wobegon Days”, p.128, Penguin

  13 Copy quote

• You don't have to justify a beautiful stroke of good luck. Accept it. Smile and say thank you.

  Garrison Keillor

  Beautiful, Good Luck, Accepting

  Garrison Keillor (2009). “Pilgrims: A Lake Wobegon Romance”, p.52, Penguin

  8 Copy quote

• Adolescence hits boys harder than it does girls. Girls bleed a little and their breasts pop out, big deal, but adolescence lands on a guy with both feet. . . . Your body is engulfed by chemicals of rage and despair, you pound, you shriek, you batter your head against the trees. You come away wounded, feeling that life is unknowable, can never be understood, only endured and sometimes cheated.

  Garrison Keillor

  Girl, Boys, Feet

  Garrison Keillor (1994). “The Book of Guys: Stories”, Penguin Group USA

  10 Copy quote

• We writers don't really think about whether what we write is good or not. It's too much to worry about. We just put the words down, trying to get them right, operating by some inner sense of pitch and proportion, and from time to time, we stick the stuff in an envelope and ship it to an editor.

  Garrison Keillor

  Writing, Thinking, Editors

  10 Copy quote

• God is a great humorist. He just has a slow audience to work with.

  Garrison Keillor

  Audience, Humorists

  10 Copy quote

• Ha! Easy for nuns to talk about giving up things. That's what they do for a living.

  Garrison Keillor

  Giving Up, Giving, Easy

  9 Copy quote

• Secret of life is to go through something harrowing that doesnt kill you...and to love one woman for the rest of your life.

  Garrison Keillor

  Secret, Rest Of Your Life, Life Is

  7 Copy quote

• A young writer is easily tempted by the allusive and ethereal and ironic and reflective, but the declarative is at the bottom of most good writing.

  Garrison Keillor

  Writing, Ironic, Young Writers

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• An interesting thing about New York City is that the subways run through the sewers.

  Garrison Keillor

  Running, New York, Cities

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