Ironic Quotes

• 

  With every mistake, we must surely be learning.

  George Harrison

  Hope, Mistake, Irony

  Song: While My Guitar Gently Weeps Acoustic Version

  98 Copy quote

  Show source

• How strange that the nature of life is change, yet the nature of human beings is to resist change. And how ironic that the difficult times we fear might ruin us are the very ones that can break us open and help us blossom into who we were meant to be.

  Elizabeth Lesser

  Might, Ruins, Were Meant To Be

  58 Copy quote

• If one cannot learn from the mistakes of others, one might as well become a Democrat.

  Esther M. Friesner

  Mistake, Might, Democrat

  P. N. Elrod, Sherrilyn Kenyon, Charlaine Harris, L. A. Banks, Jim Butcher (2010). “My Big Fat Supernatural Wedding”, p.141, Macmillan

  44 Copy quote

  Show source

• Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

  Aldous Huxley

  Funny, Sarcastic, Laughter

  "Peter's Quotations: Ideas for Our Time" by Laurence J. Peter, (p. 239), 1979.

  16 Copy quote

  Show source

• Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.

  George Carlin

  Funny, Wedding, Truth

  "When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?". Book by George Carlin, 2004.

  94 Copy quote

  Show source

• I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

  Mark Twain

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  12 Copy quote

• People who didn't need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn't need people.

  Terry Pratchett

  Witty, People, Needs

  "Maskerade". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1994.

  6 Copy quote

  Show source

• He's turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now he's miserable and depressed.

  Harry Kalas

  Funny, Life, Change

  55 Copy quote

• If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses.

  Henry Ford

  Inspirational, Funny, Motivational

  49 Copy quote

• Architecture is the art of how to waste space.

  Philip Johnson

  Funny, Art, Badass

  New York Times 27 Dec. 1964, p. 9E

  70 Copy quote

  Show source

• With fame I become more and more stupid, which of course is a very common phenomenon.

  Albert Einstein

  Stupid, Memorable, Irony

  Albert Einstein (2013). “Albert Einstein, The Human Side: Glimpses from His Archives”, p.8, Princeton University Press

  57 Copy quote

  Show source

• I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Time, Humorous

  Provincial Letters: Letter XVI, December 4, 1656.

  20 Copy quote

  Show source

• Humans think they are smarter than dolphins because we build cars and buildings and start wars etc., and all that dolphins do is swim in the water, eat fish and play around. Dolphins believe that they are smarter for exactly the same reasons.

  Douglas Adams

  War, Believe, Humility

  19 Copy quote

• I'd rather be partly great than entirely useless.

  Neal Shusterman

  Inspiring, Failure, Ambition

  Neal Shusterman (2014). “UnSouled”, p.91, Simon and Schuster

  52 Copy quote

  Show source

• All language is but a poor translation.

  Franz Kafka

  Novelists, Language, Poor

  "Franz Kafka And James Baldwin: Blackstar 10/1/16" by Richard Marshall, www.3ammagazine.com. January 16, 2016.

  141 Copy quote

  Show source

• The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive.

  Robert A. Heinlein

  Life, Success, Inspire

  77 Copy quote

• I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.

  Mark Twain

  Inspirational, Death, Sarcastic

  175 Copy quote

• The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.

  George Will

  Inspirational, Funny, Nice

  George F. Will (1995). “The Leveling Wind: Politics, the Culture, and Other News, 1990-1994”, Penguin Group USA

  28 Copy quote

  Show source

• If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Wisdom, Witty

  Oscar Wilde “The Picture of Dorian Gray - and more”, Eighty Pence Books

  335 Copy quote

  Show source

• Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart.

  Erma Bombeck

  Funny, Food, Humor

  80 Copy quote

• If you think this Universe is bad, you should see some of the others.

  Philip K. Dick

  Inspirational, Life, Optimistic

  46 Copy quote

• When you go to work, if your name is on the building, you're rich. If your name is on your desk, you're middle class. And if your name is on your shirt, you're poor.

  Rich Hall

  Funny, Witty, Work

  95 Copy quote

• If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.

  Frank Zappa

  Funny, Education, Sex

  142 Copy quote

• Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.

  Bill Vaughan

  Fun, Home, Names

  25 Copy quote

• God created war so that Americans would learn geography.

  Mark Twain

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  281 Copy quote