Ironic Quotes - Page 5

• One day you're the statue. One day you're the pigeon.

  Diane Sawyer

  One Day, Pigeons, Statues

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• If you have discovered a truth, tell it first to a parrot! Every new truth needs an insistent repetition!

  Mehmet Murat Ildan

  Needs, Firsts, Parrots

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• This is why being a helicopter pilot is so different from being an airplane pilot, and why in generality, airplane pilots are open, clear-eyed, buoyant extroverts, and helicopter pilots are brooding introspective anticipators of trouble. They know if something bad has not happened it is about to.

  Harry Reasoner

  Airplane, Different, Extroverts

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• I failed in some subjects in exam, but my friend passed in all. Now he is an engineer in Microsoft and I am the owner of Microsoft.

  Bill Gates

  Microsoft, Exam, Owners

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• People agree to say that it is rationality and science which have eliminated what is called magic and religion. But ultimately, the ironic outcome of this techno-scientific development is a renewed need for the idea of God.

  Paul Virilio

  Ideas, People, Magic

  Source: ctheory.net

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• It's ironic, isn't it? Our goal was great. Our path was dark.

  Christopher Pike

  Dark, Goal, Path

  Christopher Pike (2011). “Thirst No. 4: The Shadow of Death”, p.293, Simon and Schuster

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• It is ironic that the one thing that all religions recognize as separating us from our creator, our very self-consciousness, is also the one thing that divides us from our fellow creatures. It was a bitter birthday present from evolution.

  Annie Dillard

  Birthday, Self, Atheism

  1974 Of self-consciousness. Pilgrim at Tinker Creek, ch.6.

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• MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught stealing by the police when I was 15. How ironic.

  Eddie Izzard

  Police, Tests, Comedy

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• It was ironic how love could awaken them to the wonders of the universe, while at the same time confine their attention to one another.

  Alexandra Adornetto

  Attention, Wonder, Universe

  Alexandra Adornetto (2010). “Halo”, p.13, Macmillan

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• Everybody dies but not everybody lives.

  Drake

  Life, Death, Humble

  Song: Moment 4 Life, Album: Heartbreak Drake 2K11: The 2nd Semester

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• When dreaded outcomes are actually imminent we don't worry about themwe take action. Seeing lava from the local volcano make its way down the street toward our house does not cause worry it causes running. Also we don't usually choose imminent events as subjects for our worrying and thus emerges an ironic truth: Often the very fact that you are worrying about something means that it isn't likely to happen.

  Gavin de Becker

  Running, Mean, Volcanoes

  Gavin De Becker (1999). “Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (and Parents Sane)”, Doubleday

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• John Baldessari, the 79-year-old conceptualist, has spent more than four decades making laconic, ironic conceptual art-about-art, both good and bad.

  Jerry Saltz

  Art, Years, Four

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• John Currin's exaggerated realism and his twisted women kept me off balance, never knowing if they were sincere or ironic or some new emotion.

  Jerry Saltz

  Knowing, Balance, Emotion

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• It's ironic that no matter where I go, I meet people from Brooklyn. I'm proud of that heritage. It's where I'm from, who I am.

  Howard Schultz

  Who I Am, People, Heritage

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• My mate Karl once told me he’d been looking after this five-year-old boy who – not knowing enough to have an ironic inflection to his words – said, ‘I want something.’ He didn’t know what it was. Not ‘I want sweets’, or ‘a can of Coke’, or ‘to watch the Tweenies’, or whatever it is they’re into now (I like Bagpuss), but ‘I want something.’ All of us, I think, have that feeling. And what heroin does when you first start taking it is tell you what that something is.

  Russell Brand

  Sweet, Boys, Thinking

  Russell Brand (2008). “My Booky Wook”, p.168, Hachette UK

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• I think it's ironic that I fell in love with a man I thought I would never be interested in because he's an athlete. I was always, 'An athlete? Heck no.'

  Jessica Simpson

  Athlete, Men, Thinking

  "Jessica in Love!". Interview with Josh Patner, www.glamour.com. April 29, 2008.

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• You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic.

  Doris Egan

  God, Religious, House

  "House / House vs. God". www.imdb.com. 2006.

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• Nothing seems crueler--or more ironic--than these upper crusters who never pay a dime for their high-priced shrinks or reflexology sessions to call those who just want that tumor removed from their uterus a bunch of commies. Well, the revolution is at hand and let's hope all those uninsured commies give the rich such a headache that a whole bottle of Advil won't be enough to take the pain way.

  Michael Moore

  Pain, Hands, Giving

  Michael Moore (2004). “Dude, Where's My Country?”

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• It's ironic that those who till the soil, cultivate and harvest the fruits, vegetables, and other foods that fill your tables with abundance have nothing left for themselves.

  Cesar Chavez

  Vegetables, Justice, Diversity

  Cesar Chavez (2008). “An Organizer's Tale: Speeches”, p.352, Penguin

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• You told us over and over that you don’t think you could live without books, but the ironic thing is, you’d probably die before you’d think to rip pages out of one to start a fire. Am I right? Well, get over it already. Better to be warm then well-read.

  Wendelin Van Draanen

  Rip, Book, Thinking

  Wendelin Van Draanen (2008). “Runaway”, p.40, Laurel Leaf

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• Dammit, Vik. How can you not know what’s wrong with this thing? Can’t you commune with it or something? (Devyn) My name is not ‘Dammit, Vik’ and I find it ironic that you think I can commune with all metal beings when you can barely communicate your point of view to your own parents. And they birthed you. I did not give birth to this ship. Last time I checked, I was male and that would be impossible on a multitude of levels. (Vik)

  Sherrilyn Kenyon

  Thinking, Views, Names

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• I, Anita Blake, scourge of the undead-the human with more vampire kills than any other vampire executioner in the country-was dating a vampire. It was poetically ironic.

  Laurell K. Hamilton

  Country, Dating, Vampire

  Laurell K. Hamilton (2011). “Laurell K. Hamilton's Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter collection 6-10”, p.1111, Penguin

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• In an ironic sense, Karl Marx was right. We are witnessing today a great revolutionary crisis, a crisis where the demands of the economic order are conflicting directly with those of the political order. But the crisis is happening not in the . . . West, but in the home of Marxism-Leninism, the Soviet Union. It is the Soviet Union that runs against the tide of history by denying human freedom and human dignity to its citizens.

  Ronald Reagan

  Running, Freedom, Home

  Address to British Parliament, delivered 8 June 1982, Royal Gallery at the Palace of Westminster, London

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• I remember interviewing someone I actually felt bad for, and therefore didn't want to take an ironic stance against him. It actually turned out to be a really funny piece.

  Rob Corddry

  Pieces, Want, Comedy

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• My own terror of appearing sentimental is so strong that I’ve decided to fight against it, some; but the terror is still there. . . . Do you identify with a distaste/fear about sentimentality? Do you agree that, past a certain line, such distaste can turn everything arch and sneering and too ironic? Or do you have your own set of abstract questions to drive yourself nuts with?

  David Foster Wallace

  Strong, Fighting, Past

  "David Foster Wallace" by Deborah Treisman, www.newyorker.com. September 29, 2008.

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