Ironic Quotes - Page 4

• God created war so that Americans would learn geography.

  Mark Twain

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  318 Copy quote

• Those who condemn the self-righteous for the sake of self-discovery do so with ironic self-righteousness.

  Timothy Keller

  Discovery, Self, Sake

  8 Copy quote

• He had come to believe that life was a series of ironic ambushes. - Doctor Sleep

  Stephen King

  Believe, Sleep, Doctors

  Stephen King (2014). “Doctor Sleep”, p.64, Simon and Schuster

  6 Copy quote

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• Humor brings insight and tolerance.

  Agnes Repplier

  Tolerance, Events, Irony

  10 Copy quote

• Because I am an Englishman I spent most of my life in a state of embarrassment.

  Colin Firth

  Life, Awkward, Feelings

  74 Copy quote

• It's more important for a photographer to have very good shoes, than to have a very good camera

  Sebastiao Salgado

  Funny, Photography, Shoes

  85 Copy quote

• When men lose against me, they always have a headache ... or things of that kind. I have never beaten a completely healthy man!

  Susan Polgar

  Funny, Women, Humorous

  61 Copy quote

• Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Life, Friendship

  Mark Twain (2015). “Bite-Size Twain: Wit and Wisdom from the Literary Legend”, p.28, St. Martin's Press

  119 Copy quote

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• There are many in this old world of ours who hold that things break about even for all of us. I have observed, for example, that we all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summertime and the poor get it in the winter.

  Bat Masterson

  Funny, Summer, Humorous

  93 Copy quote

• Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible.

  Doug Larson

  Funny, Courage, Humorous

  120 Copy quote

• If gay marriage was OK ... then I saw no reason in principle why a union should not be consecrated between three men, as well as two men; or indeed three men and a dog.

  Boris Johnson

  Dog, Gay, Men

  65 Copy quote

• Most people don't remember names, for the simple reason that they don't take the time and energy necessary to concentrate and repeat and fix names indelibly in their minds. They make excuses for themselves; they are too busy.

  Dale Carnegie

  Inspirational, Time, Memories

  Dale Carnegie (2016). “How to win friends & influence people”, p.73, Diamond Pocket Books Pvt Ltd

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• In practice, you realise that most attempts to feed your baby in a public space will be met with subtle but palpable resistance. Older chaps roll their eyes, slick young businesswomen purse their mouths, teenagers look disgusted, waitresses anxious. But it strikes me as ironic that many members of the public fret about British Muslims donning the hijab, yet happily condone the veiling of nursing mothers.

  Rowan Pelling

  Mother, Baby, Teenager

  15 Copy quote

• In our changing world nothing changes more than geography.

  Pearl S. Buck

  World, Things Change, Geography

  Pearl S. Buck (2013). “A Bridge for Passing”, p.4, Open Road Media

  84 Copy quote

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• Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.

  James Thurber

  Funny, Witty, Maturity

  96 Copy quote
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  Ever consider what pets must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul - chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!

  Anne Tyler

  Funny, Dog, Mean

  Anne Tyler (1991). “Anne Tyler: a new collection : three complete novels”, Outlet

  69 Copy quote

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• Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart.

  Erma Bombeck

  Funny, Food, Humor

  101 Copy quote
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  By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.

  Robert Frost

  Funny, Motivational, Hilarious

  248 Copy quote

• When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.

  Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

  Change, Happy, Moving

  "Unkempt Thoughts". Book by Stanisław Jerzy Lec, translated by Jacek Galazka, 1962.

  46 Copy quote

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• Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

  Jay Leno

  Funny, Money, Epic

  195 Copy quote
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  People say graffiti is ugly, irresponsible and childish... but that's only if it's done properly.

  Banksy

  People, Graffiti, Done

  "Wall and Piece". Book by Banksy, 2005.

  152 Copy quote

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• It is unfortunate we can't buy many business executives for what they are worth and sell them for what they think they are worth.

  Malcolm Forbes

  Business, Thinking, Unfortunate

  8 Copy quote
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  If the environment were a bank, it would have been saved by now

  Bernie Sanders

  Environment, Saved, Has Beens

  FaceBook post by Bernie Sanders from May 19, 2016

  239 Copy quote

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• Sometimes The Devil is a gentleman.

  Percy Bysshe Shelley

  Gentleman, Devil, Sometimes

  Percy Bysshe Shelley (1840). “The Poetical Works of Percy Bysshe Shelley”, p.239

  261 Copy quote

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• One day you're the statue. One day you're the pigeon.

  Diane Sawyer

  One Day, Pigeons, Statues

  60 Copy quote