Roseanne Barr Quotes - Page 6

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• I say I'm the only serious comedian in the presidential race. And I'd like to take this opportunity to ask both Romney and Obama to debate me. Because I think that both of those guys - I think that the American people are being given a false choice, because the choice between the lesser of two evils is a false choice.

  Roseanne Barr

  Opportunity, Thinking, Race

  "Presidential hopeful Roseanne Barr lays out platform on 'Hannity'". "Hannity" with Sean Hannity, www.foxnews.com. September 24, 2012.

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• I try to do women's-point-of-view comedy. The joke is, 'This is what I think; there's the truth.' I try to think of stuff that's real broad, but the more personal it is, the more universal it is. All my friends go through the same stuff.

  Roseanne Barr

  Real, Thinking, Views

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• I want to say that nobody accuses their parents of abusing them without justification to do that. I didn't just make it up. A lot of things were true and abusive and horrible things that happened to me that my father did.

  Roseanne Barr

  Father, Parent, Want

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• I was raised on government cheese. As an adult, in my first marriage, my husband and I worked real hard just to go bankrupt. I happened to write some jokes about it. I did real well for myself.

  Roseanne Barr

  Husband, Real, Writing

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• I will barnstorm American living rooms. Mainstream media will be unable to ignore me, but more importantly they will be unable to overlook the needs of average Americans in the run-up to the 2012 election.

  Roseanne Barr

  Running, Media, Average

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• I'm a comic, and I'm supposed to outrage and make people laugh, Part of makin' people laugh is to shake up their thinkin'. That's what I came here to do.

  Roseanne Barr

  People, Laughing, Comic

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• I'm a farmer now, and it's fantastic. My goal is to be totally self-sufficient and grow everything that I eat. There's something about earning your dinner that's cool.

  Roseanne Barr

  Self, Goal, Dinner

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• I'm never going to get married again. Three strikes, you're out. I think if I would try to get married again in California, I have to go to prison, don't I? I think you only get three.

  Roseanne Barr

  Thinking, California, Trying

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• Judaism is one of the last of the world's matrilineal philosophies. Matriarchies are always the cultures that patriarchy attacks and decimates, because they don't spend all their money on the military like patriarchy does. They are easy prey.

  Roseanne Barr

  Philosophy, Military, Lasts

  "Roseanne Barr Says Israel Must End Their Blockade and Occupation of Gaza". Interview with Kathleen Wells,

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• Patriarchy is a bully notion, which if you will notice NEVER attacks a nation that can defend itself. Zionism is patriarchal and sets Judaism on its head.

  Roseanne Barr

  Bully, Judaism, Patriarchal Society

  "Roseanne Barr Says Israel Must End Their Blockade and Occupation of Gaza". Interview with Kathleen Wells, www.huffingtonpost.com.

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• I actually regard Facebook as a huge bore, but I cannot refrain from participating in it. I guess I crave the feeling of hope it gives me to think that today will be different from yesterday, that I will find an interesting comment or poke or video, and on the extremely rare occasion when that happens, I am just thrilled.

  Roseanne Barr

  Thinking, Yesterday, Giving

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• The American people are sick and tired of this ‘lesser evil’ garbage they get fed every election year. Both the Democrats and the Republicans do the same evils once they’re in office...

  Roseanne Barr

  Tired, Years, People

  "Roseanne Barr Places 6th In Presidential Election (UPDATED)" by Cavan Sieczkowski, www.huffingtonpost.com. November 7, 2012.

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• Take this marriage thing seriously - it has to last all the way to the divorce.

  Roseanne Barr

  Divorce, Insightful, Way

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• I am a woman, therefore I am a problem solver.

  Roseanne Barr

  Problem, Problem Solvers

  "This Is Woman’s Time!" by Roseanne Barr, www.huffingtonpost.com. March 7, 2011.

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• I was completely nuts for most of my life.

  Roseanne Barr

  Nuts

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• I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and I feel they should all worship me. That's what I told my kids.

  Roseanne Barr

  Hate, Kids, Earth

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• I think I should be here alone to rethink the world, I do. I want these lesser humans gone.

  Roseanne Barr

  Thinking, Gone, World

  "Fierce creature". Interview with Chrissy Iley, www.theguardian.com. October 7, 2008.

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• Both the Democratic and Republican parties are bought and paid for by corporate America and cater to the needs of the highest bidder as opposed to the people they claim to represent. I cannot be bought.

  Roseanne Barr

  Party, America, People

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• I actually get more conservative when I'm in Vegas.

  Roseanne Barr

  Vegas, Conservative

  "Q&A: Roseanne Barr, on marijuana, the CIA, and how she is, in fact, the president". Interview with Eric Spitznagel, www.esquire.com. April 25, 2013.

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• I always was a writer, but then I wanted to do stand-up because I thought that was a way that I could perform what I wrote.

  Roseanne Barr

  Way, Wanted

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• I am an observant Jew! Now my secret is out.

  Roseanne Barr

  Secret, Jew, Observant

  "Roseanne Barr Says Israel Must End Their Blockade and Occupation of Gaza". Interview with Kathleen Wells, www.huffingtonpost.com.

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• I loved comedy all my life. I think it's a real powerful art form.

  Roseanne Barr

  Art, Powerful, Real

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• I was not raised a Zionist, but a socialist, as were most Jews before the Holocaust.

  Roseanne Barr

  Holocaust, Socialist, Zionist

  "Roseanne Barr Says Israel Must End Their Blockade and Occupation of Gaza". Interview with Kathleen Wells, www.huffingtonpost.com.

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• I’m not a politician. I think that uniquely qualifies me to become president of the U.S.

  Roseanne Barr

  Thinking, President, Politician

  "Roseanne Barr: Why You Should Vote for Me for President" by Abigail Pesta, www.thedailybeast.com. August 8, 2012.

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• Imitation is the sincerest form of show business.

  Roseanne Barr

  Imitation, Form, Shows

  Roseanne Barr (2012). “Roseannearchy: Dispatches from the Nut Farm”, p.253, Simon and Schuster

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