Bachelors Quotes - Page 4

• The average kindergartner has seen more than 5,000 hours of TV-more time than it takes to earn a bachelor's degree.

  Shook

  Average, Degrees, Tvs

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• I was just on the edge of getting married, and I was frenzied at the prospect of this great step in my life after having been a bachelor for so long. And I really wanted to take my mind off of the agony, and so I decided to sit down and write a book.

  Ian Fleming

  Book, Writing, Agony

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• The April winds are magical, And thrill our tuneful frames; The garden-walks are passional To bachelors and dames.

  Ralph Waldo Emerson

  Flower, Garden, Wind

  Ralph Waldo Emerson (2015). “Poems”, p.275, The Floating Press

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• ... it is a fact universally acknowledged that a husband is the most ridiculous thing on earth, except for a bachelor.

  Peter De Vries

  Marriage, Husband, Earth

  Peter De Vries (1982). “Forever panting”, Penguin (Non-Classics)

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• The only really good vegetable is Tabasco sauce. Put Tabasco sauce in everything. Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin. The next best vegetable is the jalapeno pepper. It has the virtue of turning salads into practical jokes.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Vegetables, Stupidity, Cooking

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “The Bachelor Home Companion: A Practical Guide to Keeping House Like a Pig”, p.57, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

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• Every man is a bachelor out of his wife's sight!

  Margaret Way

  Men, Sight, Wife

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• In April 1917 the illusion of isolation was destroyed, America came to the end of innocence, and of the exuberant freedom of bachelor independence. That the responsibilities of world power have not made us happier is no surprise. To help ourselves manage them, we have replaced the illusion of isolation with a new illusion of omnipotence.

  Barbara Tuchman

  Responsibility, Omnipotence, America

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• I didn't get a Bachelor's degree - I got a Bachelor's of Fine Arts, which means I didn't have to take humanities, math, and stuff like that. I think I had to take Art History, which I failed a few times.

  Stephen Furst

  Art, Mean, Math

  Interview with Ken Plume, asitecalledfred.com.

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• Bachelors' wives and old maids' children are always perfect.

  Nicolas Chamfort

  Children, Perfect, Wife

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• After all, wedlock is the natural state of man. A bachelor is not a complete human being. He is like the odd half of a pair of scissors, which has not yet found its fellow, and therefore is not even half so useful as they might be together.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Men, Together, Half

  Benjamin Franklin (1840). “The Works of Benjamin Franklin; Containing Several Political and Historical Tracts Not Included in Any Former Edition, and Many Letters, Official and Private, Not Hitherto Published; with Notes and a Life of the Author”, p.305

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• Before I got married, I never really watched TV. Now, my husband and I watch 'The Bachelor' together. I love 'The Soup' - that's where I get a lot of my pop culture - and 'Chelsea Lately.

  Dylan Lauren

  Husband, Together, Tvs

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• The FlowersAll the names I know from nurse:Gardener's garters, Shepherd's purse,Bachelor's buttons, Lady's smock,And the Lady Hollyhock.Fairy places, fairy things,Fairy woods where the wild bee wings,Tiny trees for tiny dames-These must all be fairy names!Tiny woods below whose boughsShady fairies weave a house;Tiny tree-tops, rose or thyme,Where the braver fairies climb!Fair are grown-up people's trees,But the fairest woods are these;Where, if I were not so tall,I should live for good and all

  Robert Louis Stevenson

  Names, Wings, Rose

  Robert Louis Stevenson (1971). “Collected poems”, Not Avail

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• Why is it that at a bachelor's establishment the servants invariably drink the champagne.

  Oscar Wilde

  Champagne Drinking, Drinking Champagne, Establishment

  Oscar Wilde (1899). “The Importance of Being Earnest”, p.2

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• Obviously there was no point in being a bachelor if his houseman was going to filch his booze. If he was going to get robbed, he might just as well get married.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Marriage, Might

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• How confusing the beams from memory's lamp are; One day a bachelor, the next a grampa. What is the secret of the trick? How did I get so old so quick?

  Ogden Nash

  Memories, Confusing, Secret

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• I actually got stabbed at my friend's bachelor party. In real life.

  Johnny Knoxville

  Real, Party, My Friends

  "On-Location Interview: Johnny Knoxville". Interview with Steve Head, www.ign.com. March 30, 2005.

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• What a world of trouble those who never marry escape! There are many happy matches, it is true, and sometimes "my dear," and "my love" come from the heart; but what sensible bachelor, rejoicing in his freedom and years of discretion, will run the tremendous risk?

  Mark Twain

  Marriage, Running, Heart

  Mark Twain (1979). “Early Tales & Sketches, Vol. 1: 1851-1864”, p.86, Univ of California Press

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• The ranks of society are once again filled with Ambitious Mamas, whose only aim is to see their Darling Daughters married off to Determined Bachelors

  Julia Quinn

  Daughter, Ambitious, Mama

  Julia Quinn (2009). “The Viscount Who Loved Me”, p.11, Harper Collins

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• There’s a lot I don’t tell my father when he calls asking after Amy. He wouldn’t understand that she has no interest in getting married and was, in fact, quite happy to break up with her live-in boyfriend, whom she replaced with an imaginary boyfriend named Ricky. The last time she was asked out by a successful bachelor, Amy hesitated before saying, ‘Thanks for asking, but I’m really not into white guys right now.

  David Sedaris

  Father, Successful, White

  David Sedaris (2000). “Me talk pretty one day”

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• a college education I would never propose - a bachelor's degree won't even keep you in clothes

  Cole Porter

  College, Clothes, Degrees

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• Bachelor parties are designed for those who are sad to see the passing of their single days. I couldn’t be more eager to have mine behind me. So there’s really no point.

  Stephenie Meyer

  Party, Passing, Behinds

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• Old Cob tucked away his bowl of stew with the predatory efficency of a lifetime bachelor.

  Patrick Rothfuss

  Lifetime, Stew, Bowls

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• Jasper? What do vampires do for bachelor parties? You're not taking him to a strip club, are you?

  Stephenie Meyer

  Party, Vampire, Clubs

  "Breaking Dawn". Book by Stephenie Meyer, August 2, 2008.

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• When a bachelor of philosophy from the Antilles refuses to apply for certification as a teacher on the grounds of his color I say that philosophy has never saved anyone. When someone else strives and strains to prove to me that black men are as intelligent as white men I say that intelligence has never saved anyone: and that is true, for, if philosophy and intelligence are invoked to proclaim the equality of men, they have also been employed to justify the extermination of men.

  Frantz Fanon

  Teacher, Philosophy, Intelligent

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• I may chance have some odd quirks and remnants of wit broken on me, because I have railed so long against marriage: but doth not the appetite alter? a man loves the meat in his youth that he cannot endure in his age. Shall quips and sentences and these paper bullets of the brain awe a man from the career of his humour? No, the world must be peopled. When I said I would die a bachelor, I did not think I should live till I were married.

  William Shakespeare

  Men, Thinking, Careers

  'Much Ado About Nothing' (1598-9) act 2, sc. 3, l. [262]

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