Bossypants Quotes

• Whatever the problem - be part of the solution

  Tina Fey

  Problem, Solutions

  Tina Fey (2011). “Bossypants”, p.53, Hachette UK

  10 Copy quote

  Show source

• Now every girl is expected to have: Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.

  Tina Fey

  Girl, Sarcastic, Athlete

  "Bossypants". Book by Tina Fey, April 5, 2011.

  59 Copy quote

  Show source

• This is what I tell young women who ask me for career advice. People are going to try to trick you. To make you feel that you are in competition with one another. You're up for a promotion. If they go for a woman, it'll be between you and Barbara. Don't be fooled. You're not in competition with other women. You're in competition with everyone.

  Tina Fey

  Witty, Careers, People

  9 Copy quote

• I was a little excited but mostly blorft. "Blorft" is an adjective I just made up that means 'Completely overwhelmed but proceeding as if everything is fine and reacting to the stress with the torpor of a possum.' I have been blorft every day for the past seven years.

  Tina Fey

  Witty, Stress, Mean

  7 Copy quote

• You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.

  Tina Fey

  Strong Women, Witty, Funny Inspirational

  "Bossypants". Book by Tina Fey, April 5, 2011.

  8 Copy quote

  Show source

• Start with a 'Yes', and see where that takes you.

  Tina Fey

  "Bossypants". Book by Tina Fey, April 5, 2011.

  14 Copy quote

  Show source

• You're not in competition with other women. You're in competition with everyone.

  Tina Fey

  Business, Competition, Another Woman

  "Bossypants". Book by Tina Fey, April 05, 2011.

  6 Copy quote

  Show source

• What Turning Forty Means to Me I need to take my pants off as soon as I get home. I didn't used to have to do that. But now I do.

  Tina Fey

  Women, Home, Mean

  Tina Fey (2011). “Bossypants”, p.162, Hachette UK

  6 Copy quote

  Show source

• To say I’m an overrated troll, when you have never even seen me guard a bridge, is patently unfair.

  Tina Fey

  Witty, Bridges, Troll

  "Tina Fey: 'Ugly, pear-shaped and bitchy? I prefer offbeat, business class-assed and exhausted'" by Tina Fey, www.theguardian.com. April 18, 2011.

  17 Copy quote

  Show source

• It is an impressively arrogant move to conclude that just because you don’t like something, it is empirically not good. I don’t like Chinese food, but I don’t write articles trying to prove it doesn’t exist.

  Tina Fey

  Witty, Moving, Writing

  "Bossypants". Book by Tina Fey, October 13, 2011.

  9 Copy quote

  Show source

• I feel about Photoshop the way some people feel about abortion. It is appalling and a tragic reflection on the moral decay of our society…unless I need it, in which case, everybody be cool.

  Tina Fey

  Reflection, People, Abortion

  17 Copy quote

• I have no affinity for animals. I don’t hate animals and I would never hurt an animal; I just don’t actively care about them. When a coworker shows me cute pictures of her dog, I struggle to respond correctly, like an autistic person who has been taught to recognize human emotions from flash cards. In short, I am the worst.

  Tina Fey

  Cute, Dog, Hurt

  Tina Fey (2011). “Bossypants”, p.134, Hachette UK

  6 Copy quote

  Show source

• If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important Rule of Beauty. “Who cares?”

  Tina Fey

  Inspirational, Inspiring, Hilarious

  "Bossypants". Book by Tina Fey, April 5, 2011.

  24 Copy quote

  Show source

• So, my unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this. When faced with sexism, or ageism, or lookism, or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: “Is this person in between me and what I want to do?” If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way. Then, when you’re in charge, don’t hire the people who were jerky to you.

  Tina Fey

  Inspirational, Witty, Funny Motivational

  "Bossypants". Book by Tina Fey, April 5, 2011.

  56 Copy quote

  Show source

• When choosing sexual partners, remember: Talent is not sexually transmittable.

  Tina Fey

  Love, Relationship, Laughing

  7 Copy quote

• The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes. Everyone else is struggling.

  Tina Fey

  Struggle, Athlete, Kim

  Tina Fey (2011). “Bossypants”, p.18, Hachette UK

  6 Copy quote

  Show source

• Don’t waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions; go over, under, through, and opinions will change organically when you’re the boss. Or they won’t. Who cares? Do your thing, and don’t care if they like it.

  Tina Fey

  Motivational, Inspiring, Leadership

  "Bossypants". Book by Tina Fey, 2011.

  12 Copy quote

  Show source

• Don't waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions... Do your thing and don't care if they like it.

  Tina Fey

  Motivational, Confidence, Self Esteem

  "Bossypants". Book by Tina Fey, April 5, 2011.

  112 Copy quote

  Show source
• 

  Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. Don’t just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles.

  Tina Fey

  Witty, Careers, Obstacles

  "Bossypants". Book by Tina Fey, www.theguardian.com. 2011.

  33 Copy quote

  Show source

• My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.

  Tina Fey

  Witty, Anxiety, Acne

  Tina Fey (2011). “Bossypants”, p.89, Hachette UK

  8 Copy quote

  Show source

• You have to try your hardest to be at the top of your game and improve every joke you can until the last possible second, and then you have to let it go.

  Tina Fey

  Overthinking, Games, Let It Go

  Tina Fey (2011). “Bossypants”, p.75, Hachette UK

  7 Copy quote

  Show source

• there was an assumption that I was personally attacking Sarah Palin by impersonating her on TV. No one ever said it was 'mean' when Chevy Chase played Gerald Ford falling down all the time. No one ever accused Dana Carvey or Darrell Hammond or Dan Aykroyd of 'going too far' in their political impressions. You see what I'm getting at here. I am not mean and Mrs. Palin is not fragile. To imply otherwise is a disservice to us both.

  Tina Fey

  Fall, Mean, Here I Am

  "She's the Boss: Tina Fey on Sarah Palin, Sexism, and More" by Sheila Marikar, abcnews.go.com. April 5, 2011.

  5 Copy quote

  Show source

• I prefer the retro chic of spending Christmas just like Joseph and Mary did - Traveling arduously back to the place of your birth to be counted, with no guarantee of a bed when you get there.

  Tina Fey

  Bed, Guarantees, Birth

  Tina Fey (2011). “Bossypants”, p.151, Hachette UK

  5 Copy quote

  Show source

• Photoshop is just like makeup. When it’s done well it looks great, and when it’s overdone you look like a crazy asshole.

  Tina Fey

  Witty, Crazy, Makeup

  41 Copy quote

• You have to remember that actors are human beings. Which is hard sometimes because they look so much better than human beings.

  Tina Fey

  Witty, Looks, Actors

  Tina Fey (2011). “Bossypants”, p.75, Hachette UK

  5 Copy quote

  Show source