Car Rental Quotes

• In my life, I have driven some crappy vehicles. But I have never been so desperate for a vehicle that I wanted a used rental car.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Car, Desperate, Driven

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• We were fools and now we were driving to our deaths in a rental car. Janet Jackson was tinkling from the speakers, asking what we had done for her as of late

  Dave Eggers

  Car, Asking, Done

  Dave Eggers (2009). “You Shall Know Our Velocity”, p.57, Vintage

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• A rental car is basically an ashtray on wheels.

  Scott Adams

  Car, Wheels, Ashtrays

  Scott Adams (2007). “Stick to Drawing Comics, Monkey Brain!: Cartoonist Explains Cloning, Blouse Monsters, Voting Machines, Romance, Monkey G ods, How to Avoid Being Mistaken for a Rodent, and More”, p.448, Penguin

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• I'd rather drive the yellow brick road, you wouldn't happen to know of a rental car place around.

  Ryan Stiles

  Yellow, Car, Bricks

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• You could drive a rental car until you don't want it. Just get out of it while it's moving and just walk away. No, I don't feel like being in that car any longer. Just call Hertz. Hi, your car is drifting into the intersection of 28th and Broadway, if you're interested. It's now your problem.

  Louis C. K.

  Moving, Car, Broadway

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• My grandma's the most careful, safe driver in the world. You put her in a rental car, and she's doing doughnuts in the K-Mart parking lot!

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Grandma, Grandparent, Car

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• I'm always on the road, and I drive rental cars. Sometimes I don't know what's going on with the car, and I'll drive for ten miles with the emergency brake on. That doesn't say a lot for me, but it doesn't say a lot for the emergency brake. What kind of emergency is this? I need to not stop now. It's not really an emergency brake, it's an emergency make-the-car-smell-funny lever.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Humor, Smell

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• You should definitely have a travel agent. Why go through all the hassle of dealing with airlines, hotels, and rental-car agencies yourself, only to see the arrangements get all screwed up, when with just a single phone call you can have a trained professional screw them up for you?

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Agency, Phones

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need”, p.21, Ballantine Books

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• I once went on the most grueling radio tour. Living in hotel rooms, sleeping in the backs of rental cars as my mom drove to three different cities in one day.

  Taylor Swift

  Mom, Sleep, Cities

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• Buying a used rental car is kind of like going to a house of ill repute looking for a wife. Anything that's been driven that hard by that many people, you really don't want to put your key in it.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Keys, People, Wife

  "Blue Collar Comedy Tour: The Movie". www.imdb.com. 2003.

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• Working alone on stories, I began to feel the anonymity of motels on interstate highways reached by jet planes and rental cars. It was hard to have a good time, and the only way I could make the loneliness excusable was by taking pictures I thought were very good, even valuable.

  John Loengard

  Loneliness, Car, Working Alone

  John Loengard (1987). “Pictures under discussion”, Amphoto Books

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• In most instances, at all costs, do NOT check a bag. Especially during the holiday season. You have more flexibility to switch flights, switch airlines or even leave the airport and get a rental car to drive to your next destination. If the airline has your bag, they also have you.

  Beth Mowins

  Holiday, Airports, Car

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• Teenagers are bored. By everything. Show a teenager an actual volcanic eruption, in progress, featuring giant billowing clouds of smoke, hot rocks raining from the sky, lava floes destroying entire villages, etc., and the teenager, eyebrows arched with sarcasm, will look at you and say, "Gee, this is swell," then return to the rental car, turn on his portable CD player, and listen to a band called Stomach Contents.

  Dave Barry

  Teenager, Rain, Sarcasm

  "Whining Down The Country's Roads With Dave Barry And Family". community.seattletimes.nwsource.com. September 1, 1991.

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• My dad and I are very different people. For example, he's been stabbed; I'm afraid of bugs. He's a mechanic; I once had to exchange a "broken" rental car because I didn't realize I was driving around with the parking brake on. I could keep going, but you get it.

  Jason Mulgrew

  Dad, People, Broken

  Source: www.glamour.com

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• Book your life choices in advance the same way you would book flights, car rentals, hotels, and excursions. Figure out early on in your career whether you intend to be financially independent or marry a rich man, join the ranks of the professional elite or be the stay-at- home type, postpone having children or find part-time employment. Then fasten your seat belt and sit tight as you watch your trajectory veer off course.

  Veronique Vienne

  Children, Book, Independent

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• I've heard Braggadocio about excess baggage charges, multiple unused hotel rooms, and rental cars held unused for long periods of time, which makes me lose respect for certain photographers. Sometimes it's worth it to spend money on a good idea, but wasting money makes me ill.

  Peter Menzel

  Ideas, Excess Baggage, Long

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• Paul Ryan looks like the car rental salesman who bullies you into getting full coverage.

  Damien Fahey

  Car, Bully, Looks

  Twitter post from Aug 30, 2012

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• Jenk shook his head as he headed for the rental car counter. He felt his shoulders tightening as he walked away, certain that Izzy wasn't quite ready to be silent or invisible yet. He was halfway there when Izzy shouted, "Jenkins! I wish I could quit yew!" Of course. The obligatory Brokeback Mountain reference. Jenk flipped Zanella a double bird without bothering to look back.

  Suzanne Brockmann

  Halfway There, Car, Bird

  Suzanne Brockmann (2013). “Into the Storm: Troubleshooters 10: Troubleshooters 10”, p.311, Hachette UK

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