Ex Girlfriend Quotes

• I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.

  Dane Cook

  Girlfriend, Thinking, Get Better

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• I ask a lot because I'm very curious - especially about ex-girlfriends. I'm pretty good at getting the answers, too.

  Brittany Murphy

  Girlfriend, Answers, Curious

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  48 Copy quote

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• I think it's cool when an ex-girlfriend becomes an XL girlfriend.

  Demetri Martin

  Girlfriend, Thinking, Exes

  8 Copy quote

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• And you're wasted with your ladies. Yeah I'm the reason why you always getting faded.

  Drake

  Relationship, Break Up, Girl

  Song: Shot For Me, Album: Take Care

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• Walked right by an ex-girlfriend today. Not on purpose, I just didn't recognize her with her mouth closed.

  Aristotle

  Funny, Girlfriend, Today

  14 Copy quote

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• I have all my ex-girlfriends lumped into one big girlfriend I called M.A.N.D.Y.: My, Another Neurotic Disappointment? Yes.

  Dana Gould

  Girlfriend, Disappointment, Big Girl

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• My ex-girlfriend owned a parakeet…oh my god, that f**king thing would never shut up. But the bird was cool.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Girlfriend, Kings, Bird

  227 Copy quote

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• I've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend’s killer… but no one will do it.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Funny, Girlfriend, Humor

  40 Copy quote

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• I left my parents' home when I was 22, I moved to New York with my ex-girlfriend. We did a film together with Raul Julia.

  Demian Bichir

  Girlfriend, New York, Home

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• It's fun to branch out a bit. I feel like I've held a lot of tricks up my sleeve for a lot of years, and 'Ex-Girlfriends' is a good way to show another side of me.

  Jennifer Carpenter

  Girlfriend, Fun, Years

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• I've been insane for a long time. An ex-girlfriend of mine once asked, "Is it true that all comedians are depressed?," and I said, "Every one I know is."

  Jason Gann

  Girlfriend, Long, Comedian

  Source: collider.com

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• When did the government become our psycho ex-girlfriend

  Jay Leno

  Girlfriend, Government, Psycho

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• I don't like vampire movies or zombie movies. I went to see 'I Am Legend' with an ex-girlfriend the other day, and I immediately realised it was a zombie movie! You know what I mean? There are certain rules, and those rules are things that you've seen many times.

  Michel Gondry

  Girlfriend, Mean, Zombie

  "Surreal to reel" by Damon Wise, www.theguardian.com.

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• It's the Roman numeral for 10. 5/5/89 is my birthday: 5 plus 5 is 10, and this is my tenth year since I got into music. 'X' is the 24th letter in the alphabet, and I will turn 24 when this album comes out. 'X' is also a metaphor, as in 'ex-girlfriend': it implies you're progressing and moving on in life, not holding on to the past and your old ways.

  Chris Brown

  Girlfriend, Moving, Past

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• When your ex says ‘You’ll never find anyone like me’. Say ‘that’s the point’.

  Drake

  Ex Boyfriend, Broke Up, After Break Up

  106 Copy quote

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• When one is undone—sprawled across the cold tile of a public bathroom in a pool of one’s own vomit, or shivering in the back of a taxi in a pair of urine-soaked skinny jeans with no money for cab fare and a dead cell phone battery—much like a wobbly toddler or an unhinged politician, one immediately looks for someone else to blame. God. Your parents. Ex-girlfriends. Undocumented immigrants. Marvin in Human Resources. China.

  Aisha Tyler

  Girlfriend, Phones, Cells

  Aisha Tyler (2013). “Self-Inflicted Wounds: Heartwarming Tales of Epic Humiliation”, p.11, Harper Collins

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• Ex-girlfriends will find themselves in my new routine. Sometimes they like that, and sometimes they definitely do not. But comedians should come with a giant warning or disclaimer: IF YOU DATE ME, IT WILL BE IN MY ACT.

  Dane Cook

  Girlfriend, Comedian, Giants

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• I cried when my ex-girlfriend sent me a text message saying how much she liked my present to her.

  Tao Lin

  Girlfriend, Messages, Text Message

  Source: www.interviewmagazine.com

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• My ex-girlfriend was very sexy. She reminded me of the Sphinx because she was very mysterious and eternal and solid...and her nose was shot off by French soldiers.

  Emo Philips

  Sexy, Girlfriend, Soldier

  22 Copy quote

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• I think my ex-girlfriend has weekly lessons with the devil on how to be more evil. I don't know what she charges him.

  Emo Philips

  Girlfriend, Thinking, Evil

  43 Copy quote

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• I'm not known for having great relationships with ex-girlfriends, but I've been able to continue one with (Gwyneth Paltrow) that's really valuable.

  Ben Affleck

  Girlfriend, Able, Great Relationship

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Should've thought of that before you told my ex-girlfriend I eat live kittens for breakfast." A tiny twinge of guilt. Then the cat wondered what Riley would think of her last successful "shoo-away." "Who knew she'd believe me?" [Mercy responded.] "Oh no? When you 'accidentally' opened the cupboard to expose my 'kitten cage' full of the poor, sad kitties I was going to snack on?" A raised eyebrow. "Wasn't the cage next to my special 'kitten defurring' tools?" "They were obviously fake." Bas just stared at her.

  Nalini Singh

  Girlfriend, Believe, Cat

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• Being alone is scary, but not as scary as feeling alone in a relationship.

  Amelia Earhart

  Feeling Alone, Scary, Feelings

  15 Copy quote

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• I always used to say to my ex-girlfriends that I could never take a good photograph of them, because there was too much of an intimacy between us, but actually the real thing is, if there's a proper intimacy between you... I find it really compelling and exciting - it's quite good foreplay.

  Rankin

  Girlfriend, Real, Too Much

  3 Copy quote

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• I got caught kissing my dad's ex-girlfriend - at his wedding!

  Lee Ryan

  Girlfriend, Dad, Kissing

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