Funny Chocolate Quotes

• Your hand and your mouth agreed many years ago that, as far as chocolate is concerned, there is no need to involve your brain.

  Dave Barry

  Yummy, Hands, Years

  Dave Barry (2011). “Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down”, p.60, Ballantine Books

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• Chocolate says "I'm sorry" so much better than words.

  Rachel Vincent

  Forgiveness, Im Sorry, Apology

  40 Copy quote

• What you see before you, my friend, is the result of a lifetime of chocolate.

  Katharine Hepburn

  Yummy, Chocolate, Lifetime

  47 Copy quote

• All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.

  Charles M. Schulz

  Love, Funny, Valentines Day

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• Chocolate is cheaper than therapy, and you don't need an appointment.

  Jill Shalvis

  Yummy, Chocolate, Needs

  Jill Shalvis (2015). “Lucky Harbor Collection 2: Lucky In Love, At Last, Forever And A Day”, p.116, Hachette UK

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• Don't wreck a sublime chocolate experience by feeling guilty.

  Lora Brody

  Yummy, Feelings, Chocolate

  41 Copy quote

• The greatest tragedies were written by the Greeks and Shakespeare...neither knew chocolate.

  Sandra Boynton

  Greek, Chocolate, Tragedy

  32 Copy quote

• Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces.

  Judith Viorst

  Inspirational, Strength, Food

  48 Copy quote

• Exercise is a dirty word. Every time I hear it I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

  Charles M. Schulz

  Fitness, Dirty, Food

  15 Copy quote

• Other things are just food. But chocolate's chocolate.

  Patrick Skene Catling

  Chocolate

  Patrick Skene Catling (2013). “The Chocolate Touch”, p.20, Harper Collins

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• When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.

  Erma Bombeck

  Naps, Tough Times, Chocolate

  17 Copy quote

• I could give up chocolate but I'm not a quitter.

  Lora Brody

  Giving Up, Yummy, Chocolate

  6 Copy quote

• Chocolate is a perfect food, as wholesome as it is delicious, a beneficent restorer of exhausted power...it is the best friend of those engaged in literary pursuits.

  Justus von Liebig

  Perfect, Chocolate, Exhausted

  45 Copy quote

• Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.

  Matt Lauer

  Funny, Marijuana, Two

  "The hard shell" by Richard Johnson, www.theguardian.com. August 26, 2006.

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• You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.

  George Carlin

  Feelings, Chocolate, Bars

  George Carlin (2002). “Napalm & Silly Putty”, Hyperion

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• In the cookie of life, friends are the chocolate chips.

  Salman Rushdie

  Chocolate, Cookies, Chips

  26 Copy quote

• When the going gets tough, the tough reinvent.

  RuPaul

  Change, Naps, Tough Times

  RuPaul (2010). “Workin' It!: RuPaul's Guide to Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Style”, p.22, Harper Collins

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• Anything is good if it's made of chocolate.

  Jo Brand

  Food, Weight Loss, Chocolate

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• Look, there's no metaphysics on earth but chocolates.

  Fernando Pessoa

  Love, Halloween, Food

  "Poems of Fernando Pessoa".

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• My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of M&M's and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.

  Dave Barry

  Inspirational, Funny, Fitness

  6 Copy quote

• What use are cartridges in battle? I always carry chocolate instead.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Wise, Chocolate, Battle

  George Bernard Shaw (2015). “The Collected Works of George Bernard Shaw: Plays, Novels, Articles, Lectures, Letters and Essays: Pygmalion, Mrs. Warren’s Profession, Candida, Arms and The Man, Man and Superman, Caesar and Cleopatra, Androcles And The Lion, The New York Times Articles on War, Memories of Oscar Wilde and more”, p.1301, e-artnow

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• After about 20 years of marriage, I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of what women want. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate.

  Mel Gibson

  Funny, Inspiring, Anniversary

  16 Copy quote

• The 12-step chocolate program: NEVER BE MORE THAN 12 STEPS AWAY FROM CHOCOLATE!

  Terry Moore

  Food, Yummy, Chocolate

  41 Copy quote

• Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals.

  Robert Orben

  Children, Food, Cereal

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• As with most fine things, chocolate has its season. There is a simple memory aid that you can use to determine whether it is the correct time to order chocolate dishes: any month whose name contains the letter A, E, or U is the proper time for chocolate.

  Sandra Boynton

  Fun, Memories, Women

  "Chocolate: The Consuming Passion". Book by Sandra Boynton, 1982.

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