Funny Holiday Quotes - Page 2

• There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus.

  Bob Phillips

  Funny, Christmas, Dad

  45 Copy quote

• A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

  Garrison Keillor

  Love, Funny, Christmas

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  71 Copy quote

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• Love the giver more than the gift.

  Brigham Young

  Love, Christmas, Meaningful

  21 Copy quote

• Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance.

  Oren Arnold

  Christmas, Xmas, Tolerance

  29 Copy quote

• To many people holidays are not voyages of discovery, but a ritual of reassurance.

  Phillip Adams

  Inspirational, Funny, Travel

  17 Copy quote

• One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly." ~ (1919-), American writer, producer, humorist.

  Andy Rooney

  Christmas, Xmas, Holiday

  14 Copy quote

• I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.

  Henny Youngman

  Atheist, Holiday, Christmas Wishes

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  50 Copy quote

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• A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Retirement, Work, Holiday

  Misalliance preface (1914)

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• As we struggle with shopping lists and invitations, compounded by December's bad weather, it is good to be reminded that there are people in our lives who are worth this aggravation, and people to whom we are worth the same.

  Donald E. Westlake

  Family, Christmas, Struggle

  36 Copy quote

• Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs?

  Gilbert K. Chesterton

  Christmas, Grateful, Thank You God

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• Happy white peoples independence day the slaves weren't free but I'm sure they enjoyed fireworks.

  Chris Rock

  4th Of July, Holiday, White

  Twitter post from Jul 04, 2012

  17 Copy quote

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• I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

  Jon Stewart

  Funny, Thanksgiving, Holiday

  89 Copy quote

• One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December.

  Louis C. K.

  Funny, Christmas, Drinking

  38 Copy quote

• Unless we make Christmas an occasion to share our blessings, all the snow in Alaska won't make it 'white'.

  Bing Crosby

  Christmas, Xmas, Blessed

  78 Copy quote