Funny Sleep Quotes

• The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.

  Wilson Mizner

  Time, Sleep, Insomnia

  11 Copy quote

• There is a time for many words, and there is also a time for sleep.

  Homer

  Inspirational, Good Night, Teenager

  74 Copy quote

• Now blessings light on him that first invented this same sleep. It covers a man all over, thoughts and all, like a cloak.

  Miguel de Cervantes

  Sleep, Blessing, Insomnia

  Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra (1993). “Don Quixote”, p.730, Wordsworth Editions

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• Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

  Phyllis Diller

  Funny, Anniversary, Marriage

  Phyllis Diller's Housekeeping Hints (1966)

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• Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.

  W. C. Fields

  Funny, Humorous, Sleep

  "Fictional character: The Great Man". "Never Give a Sucker an Even Break", www.imdb.com. October 10, 1941.

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• Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Motivational, Wise, Money

  Benjamin Franklin (1821). “Essays and Letters”, p.80

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  But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep.

  Robert Frost

  Love, Inspirational, Tattoo

  "Stopping byWoods on a Snowy Evening" l. 13 (1923)

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• The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.

  Ogden Nash

  Morning, Regret, Sleep

  60 Copy quote

• Sleeping is no mean art: for its sake one must stay awake all day.

  Friedrich Nietzsche

  Good Night, Dream, Art

  Friedrich Nietzsche (1977). “The Portable Nietzsche”, p.92, Penguin

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• If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there worrying. It's the worry that gets you, not the lack of sleep.

  Dale Carnegie

  Happiness, Lying, Sleep

  85 Copy quote

• Bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret.

  Charles Caleb Colton

  Regret, Sleep, Insomnia

  Charles Caleb Colton (1823). “Remarks on the Talents of Lord Byron and the Tendencies of Don Juan”

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  Silence is the sleep that nourishes wisdom.

  Francis Bacon

  Wise, Wisdom, Clever

  201 Copy quote

• Think in the morning. Act in the noon. Eat in the evening. Sleep in the night.

  William Blake

  Good Morning, Happiness, Sleep

  William Blake (2005). “Collected Poems”, p.167, Routledge

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• A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow.

  Charlotte Bronte

  Dream, Sleep, Insomnia

  Charlotte Bronte (2009). “The Professor: Easyread Super Large 24pt Edition”, p.32, ReadHowYouWant.com

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• The feeling of sleepiness when you are not in bed, and can't get there, is the meanest feeling in the world.

  E. W. Howe

  Sleep, Insomnia, Emotional

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• The worst thing in the world is to try to sleep and not to.

  F. Scott Fitzgerald

  Sleep, Insomnia, Trying

  14 Copy quote

• Oh sleep! it is a gentle thing,
  Beloved from pole to pole.

  Samuel Taylor Coleridge

  Sleep, Beloved, Gentle

  "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner" l. 293 (1798)

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• Sleep is when all the unsorted stuff comes flying out as from a dustbin upset in a high wind.

  William Golding

  Dream, Sleep, Insomnia

  1956 Pincher Martin, ch.6.

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• A flock of sheep that leisurely pass by One after one; the sound of rain, and bees Murmuring; the fall of rivers, winds and seas, Smooth fields, white sheets of water, and pure sky - I've thought of all by turns, and still I lie Sleepless.

  William Wordsworth

  Lying, Rain, Fall

  William Wordsworth, Myles Birket Foster, Sir John Gilbert, Robert Eldridge Aris WILLMOTT, Joseph WOLF (Artist.) (1859). “Poems of William Wordsworth. Selected and edited by Robert Aris Willmott ... Illustrated with one hundred designs by Birket Foster, J. Wolf, and John Gilbert, engraved by the brothers Dalziel”, p.208

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• Sleep, rest of things, O pleasing Deity,
  Peace of the soul, which cares dost crucify,
  Weary bodies refresh and mollify.

  Ovid

  Sleep, Insomnia, Soul

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• Not being able to sleep is terrible. You have the misery of having partied all night... Without the satisfaction.

  Lynn Johnston

  Sleep, Night, Insomnia

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• How do people go to sleep? I'm afraid I've lost the knack. I might try busting myself smartly over the temple with the night-light. I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound; if I can remember any of the damn things.

  Dorothy Parker

  Beautiful, Sleep, Night

  Dorothy Parker (2002). “Complete Stories”, p.197, Penguin

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• It appears that every man's insomnia is as different from his neighbours as are their daytime hopes and aspirations.

  F. Scott Fitzgerald

  Sleep, Insomnia, Men

  The Crack-up 'Sleeping and Walking'

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• O bed! O bed! delicious bed! That heaven upon earth to the weary head.

  Thomas Hood

  Sleep, Insomnia, Heaven

  Thomas Hood (1860). “The Poetical Works of Thomas Hood”, p.229

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• Cut if you will with sleep's dull knife, the years from off your life, my friend! the years that death takes off my life, he'll take from off the other end!

  Edna St. Vincent Millay

  Sleep, Cutting, Years

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