Funny Sleep Quotes

• Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Motivational, Wise, Money

  Benjamin Franklin (1821). “Essays and Letters”, p.80

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• The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.

  Wilson Mizner

  Time, Sleep, Insomnia

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• All men whilst they are awake are in one common world: but each of them, when he is asleep, is in a world of his own.

  Plutarch

  Dream, Sleep, Insomnia

  "Moralia". Book by Plutarch. "Of Superstition",

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• Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Hilarious, Health

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• Consciousness: That annoying time between naps

  Steven Wright

  Sleep, Naps, Annoying

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• The feeling of sleepiness when you are not in bed, and can't get there, is the meanest feeling in the world.

  E. W. Howe

  Sleep, Insomnia, Emotional

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• Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep.

  Albert Camus

  Sleep, Insomnia, People

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• There is a time for many words, and there is also a time for sleep.

  Homer

  Inspirational, Good Night, Teenager

  84 Copy quote

• Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

  Phyllis Diller

  Funny, Anniversary, Marriage

  Phyllis Diller's Housekeeping Hints (1966)

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• Don't fight with the pillow, but lay down your head And kick every worriment out of the bed.

  Edmund Vance Cooke

  Sleep, Fighting, Insomnia

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• It appears that every man's insomnia is as different from his neighbours as are their daytime hopes and aspirations.

  F. Scott Fitzgerald

  Sleep, Insomnia, Men

  The Crack-up 'Sleeping and Walking'

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• Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Morning, Sleep, Insomnia

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.49, University of Georgia Press

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• I wasn't really asleep I was just meditating on unconsciousness.

  Paul Bourget

  Sleep, Reality, Meditating

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• Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.

  John Ciardi

  Business, Sleep, Insomnia

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• The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.

  Woody Allen

  Sleep, Waking, Hours

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• When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'

  Steven Wright

  Good Morning, Girlfriend, Mistake

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• If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Good Morning, Laughter

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• Insomnia is a gross feeder. It will nourish itself on any kind of thinking, including thinking about not thinking.

  Clifton Fadiman

  Dream, Sleep, Insomnia

  Clifton Fadiman (1957). “Any Number Can Play”, Cleveland : World Publishing Company

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• The worst thing in the world is to try to sleep and not to.

  F. Scott Fitzgerald

  Sleep, Insomnia, Trying

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• Early to bed and early to rise makes a person dull, boring, and despised.

  Ernie J Zelinski

  Funny, Health, Sleep

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• The nicest thing for me is sleep, then at least I can dream.

  Marilyn Monroe

  Inspiring, Dream, Sleep

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  Silence is the sleep that nourishes wisdom.

  Francis Bacon

  Wise, Wisdom, Clever

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• There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled.

  Edward Lucas

  Sleep, Insomnia, Naps

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• Man should forget his anger before he lies down to sleep.

  Mahatma Gandhi

  Good Night, Lying, Anger

  "Confessions of an English Opium-Eater". Book by Thomas De Quincey, 1821.

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• Think in the morning. Act in the noon. Eat in the evening. Sleep in the night.

  William Blake

  Good Morning, Happiness, Sleep

  William Blake (2005). “Collected Poems”, p.167, Routledge

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