Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
Writing is the most fun you can have by yourself.
If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.
The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf - it's almost a law.
For this game you need, above all things, to be in a tranquil frame of mind.
Golf... is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well.
The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterflies in the adjoining meadows.
To find a man's true character, play golf with him.
The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing at you.
Mistakes are part of the game. It's how well you recover from them, that's the mark of a great player.
I'm the best. I just haven't played yet.
The older you get the stronger the wind gets - and it's always in your face.
Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated; it satisfies the soul and frustrates the intellect. It is at the same time rewarding and maddening - and it is without a doubt the greatest game mankind has ever invented.
Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.
I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.
One of the most fascinating things about golf is how it reflects the cycle of life. No matter what you shoot - the next day you have to go back to the first tee and begin all over again and make yourself into something.
It's a funny thing, the more I practice the luckier I get.
Forget your opponents; always play against par.
I'm about five inches from being an outstanding golfer. That's the distance my left ear is from my right.
The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody put a flagstick on top.
Golf is a game in which you yell "for," shoot six, and write down five.
The most important shot in golf is the next one.
You swing your best when you have the fewest things to think about.
I never learned anything from a match that I won.
Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best.
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