As a comedian, I can walk out in front of 5000 people and not worry about a thing. Not a thing, believe me. But to stand up a face a camera and crew of maybe 15 guys and get up tight about it - to me that's weird.
Everybody I meet in public seems to want to audition for me. If I ask a guy what time it is, he'll sing it to me.
When I was growing up, my favorite player was Reggie Jackson - and I never got the opportunity to get an autograph from Reggie. I was so frustrated. I mean, he was my idol. And I couldn't get no autograph. I would go through punishment waiting on him (after games) because he was always the last guy to come out. And I would go back home with no autograph.
I couldn't help but be struck that this guy I had thought was the embodiment of everything wrong with American politics, a lot of his domestic policy was mind-numbingly, head-spinningly to the left of Obama's. It was under Nixon that the EPA was created. It was under Nixon that OSHA was created. Under Nixon that the Clean Air and Clean Water Acts were passed.
I'm not the 'rappity-rapper' type dude. All my music is really true. I can't just rap about nothing, just metaphors and putting words together. I can't just smash out material like other guys. I just want my albums to be crazy every time I drop one.
There are a lot of producers and people in the music industry who take credit for the work of others when it's not actually their work. Especially big producers - they have a song that's written by one guy with a produced mix by someone else and then it's sung by someone else.
I was wearing women's jeans way before it was cool for guys to wear them. I have a weird torso - it's incredibly short, and only girl-pants fit me properly.
Have you guys ever ghost hunted in Hawaii? No? Well, I have this fat friend... I shouldn't say fat, that might offend him, but he's Samoan and claims to have seen ghosts.
I was born in 1929, that was the depression, so the golf course was manned by my father and two guys, they worked for my dad and they took me with them everywhere they went. And it was fun.
I'm an old school guy and love the guys in the monster suits and JAWS; even though everyone makes fun of the shark I think it's awesome. You know it's fake, but with my generation that was part of the charm.
In China I told pastors about how, in the West, we have these church buildings and how we go to services each week that last an hour or so. I told them how if we don't like the music or the message then we can go to different buildings and services... They all broke out into laughter. They thought I was the funniest guy they had ever seen.
I was a fan of Charlie Sheen - he's an incredibly likable, affable guy - well, until he doesn't like you.
The big story now is that President Bush is coming under attack for his service in the National Guard. The White House said, 'no no,' that they have payroll records to show that he served in the National Guard. But today, the commanding officers can't remember seeing Bush between May and October of '72. President Bush said, 'Remember me? I'm the drunk guy. Remember me?'
I wonder if the guy at the gun store would give me a discount on the bullets I'll need if I told him what I was up to.
I'm being accused of being a murderer! I'M being ACCUSED of being a molester!... They say my idea of a fun day is a dark lonely field and the urunj of a car, and a large stick and a roll of duct tape! My MOM shops at Wal-Mart! She gets calls all the time now; she's worried about me! I'm not the most emotionally stable guy in the world; I'll admit that... I do have some problems, but my God, I'm not a murderer!
Hey, he speaks pretty well for a guy who just ate 2 lbs of crackers.
Taking time to live is taking time to appreciate simple silence as better than any kind of talk, or watching a flower, or watching a guy wash the windows on a skyscraper and wondering what he is thinking.
I remember being in buses, hotel lobbies and bars leading up to the 1994 World Cup talking with guys about how great it would be to have a legitimate league of our own, so getting on the plane in Italy to return and be part of the first year of MLS was one of the proudest moments of my life.
I absolutely do prefer a dominant guy. I play a very dominant role in my life, in every other aspect of it. And I like to feel like a lady still, at some point. I feel like that's the time when a guy really gets to be a man, and I get to be a woman. And if I'm being a man in the bedroom too, there's nothing really in it for me.
I'm the luckiest guy in the world in terms of what I do for a living. No one can tell me to do things I don't believe in or things I think are stupid.
Slade was the coolest band in England. They were the kind of guys that would push your car out of a ditch.
People look at me, and they have a certain perception, and they slap a label on me. The guy you saw in a wrestling ring is not who I am.
I certainly don't agree with the bodybuilders who say you can get big forearms just by squeezing the dumbbell handles when doing curls. In a few cases this may be true, but those guys would build big forearms by merely eating eggs in the morning. Most bodybuilders, myself included, have to work very hard for any kind of meaningful forearm development.
Some guys can run fast, some guys can sing, I found I could take photographs that people were interested in.
These are young people who made mistakes that aren't that different than the mistakes I made and the mistakes that a lot of you guys made, we have a tendency sometimes to almost take for granted or think it's normal that so many young people end up in our criminal justice system. It's not normal. ... What is normal is teenagers doing stupid things.
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