Think hard about it: I'm running out of demons. I'm running out of villians. I'm down to Castro and Kim Il Sung.
People like rumors. They're going to say things like, 'You was at the club with Lil' Kim, and you and Kanye West got into a fist fight.' You can't get upset. You've got to keep hope alive.
According to Life & Style, Lance Armstrong was seen canoodling with fitness model Kim Strother, and the night before, he was with Ashley Olsen. He's going from bar to bar picking up women - how does he get them home? Does he put them on the handlebars, or does he have a banana seat?
[On sister Kim's pregnancy] The new year, we've got another child coming, so that's great. Kim's never had a baby, so it's going to be a beautiful blessing.
My friends are trying to get me to go out on blind dates. Big 'NO' to that because all my friends are a bunch of lying geeks. They're always like, 'Brian, you're really gonna dig this girl. She's got Traci Lords' eyes, Michelle Pfeiffer's nose, Kim Basinger's lips.' Yeah, they always forget to tell me she's also got Charlie Brown's head.
Kim Kardashian is single again. Hey, great. Maybe that will give the NBA players something to do during the lockout.
We must work with the Australians, the South Koreans, the Japanese and the Filipinos to contain China. And then we must ask for their support and their help with North Korea. Because believe it or not, China is as concerned about Kim Jong-Un as we are.
North Korea is now threatening the United States with all-out war. You can see they're stepping it up. In fact, they released 10 more photos of Kim Jong Un looking through binoculars.
North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has been awarded the highest rank in the country's military. The decision was praised by everyone from Parliamentary leader Kim Jong Un to opposition leader Kim Jong Un.
I'm calling on the Supreme Leader of North Korea, or as I call him, 'Kim,' to do me a solid and cut Kenneth Bae loose.
I, Kim Heechul, was born to successfully make women fall in love with me. It's not my fault. It's not of my own free will. My mother and father created this face.
Wasn't Saddam destroyed? Wasn't Gaddafi liquidated? Didn't Milosevic go to the Hague? All true. But Stalin survived. Kim Jong-un isn't doing too badly, either - though that's probably because he actually has nuclear weapons, as opposed to Iran which might or might not be trying to acquire them and thus remains on the Israeli-American target list.
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