We chose to do a reality show with my husband Dean McDermott, because we wanted to give the reality of our situation, not to kind of mask it if the things got kind of uncomfortable. So we pretty much put it all out there and I think the viewers will appreciate that.
I love working with young artists. Jacob Latimore was the first kid that I auditioned. After he walked out, I turned to my husband and said, "I think that's the kid. I don't know if I have to look any further. He's the one!" He's a real star.
My husband and I can't get through dinner without being defensive. We've been married 24 years, and I love my husband to death, but sometimes I say, "What are we? Two injured creatures who can't talk to each other without going, like, 'Ahhh!'?"
I love Donnie Darko movie so much. Just before I got that script, I had been to see some European art film. I walked out of that movie and said to my husband, "That's what I want to do! I want to do an art film and take it to the edge." Within two weeks, we were getting ready to go on vacation, and my agent called.
I was up at Big Sur with Christopher Reeve and Christine Lahti, doing this woman in a big fat-suit - Mrs. Bassett in Tennessee Williams' Summer And Smoke - and my husband was in the show too, playing Lahti's fiancée. Every night he'd be proposing to beautiful Christine Lahti, and I'd barrel onstage in this fat-suit. I hated it! But I did it, because by then I knew that that was my casting.
I grew up around so many beautiful things. My mother's jewelry and purses - they're very much statement pieces. Again, that sort of over-the-top Russian thing where it looks like treasure. I always say to my husband, you don't ever have to get me another piece of jewelry. When your mother is this amazing woman, a North Star, sometimes you want a simpler presentation of yourself.
We have two boys. After George Zimmerman was found not guilty of killing Trayvon Martin, we had to explain to our older son, who was 12 at the time, how that could happen. Instead of hugging and consoling him, my husband pulled out a documentary about Emmett Till and showed it to him and started to talk about how the justice system works in this country - and how it often doesn't. From that conversation, our son wrote a short story about Trayvon Martin going to heaven to meet Emmett Till.
Unfortunately, this past birthday, my son was up the entire night before, very sick with that horrible - I think it was called the Norovirus or whatever the hell that was that was going around. So I got it. And then my husband [Paul Scheer] got it. We were both fighting it because he had planned this whole day for me, and we were both pretending it wasn't happening. We were literally driving ourselves to a massage and facial that he had planned and at one point, I was like, "I can't drive anymore. I need to get in the passenger's seat."
My husband was a hospital architect and he was working on some hospitals in Alberta, and I told him to try to find out what they thought about separatism. He would come back on weekends. He said "well, I think I found out how they feel about separatism. I brought it up at lunch in the cafeteria, and everybody at the table was silent and then somebody said 'Let's change the subject'."
My husband knows me better than anyone.
I'm trying, now that I am in my dotage, to use a lot less sugar and my husband and I really try to keep close to a minimum of fat; chicken, fish, loads of salads and legumes. We both love all of those. To be honest, nothing that is in our diet is that original. We eat seafood but we do not eat shellfish. On the other hand, if my body says to me, "eat meat" I do. I listen to my body, I think that's important.
In the '50s you had to wear pink ribbons if you were a girl, and you were supposed to become a hairdresser or a secretary. I couldn't stomach it. Later on, when I fell in love with my husband and had children, that's when my mother's earthiness or sense of femaleness kicked in.
Many things inspire me. First and foremost, my family, my husband, and our son. I find that the love we share fills me up and makes me see and appreciate life in a different way.
When I go home, I am a slug. I want to do everything completely opposite of what I do on the red carpet. I like to take off all my makeup, put on a t-shirt, be completely unassuming and just do stuff with my husband and my daughter.
The best apology, I think, was from my husband, Steve, who slept with a close friend of mine decades back, when we were committed to being life partners but not yet married. And many of the factors that made Steve's apology so healing are universal. One important thing is that he confessed to the affair, rather than my discovering it. He looked deeply into his own history in terms of why this happened, but he never used that history as an excuse.
Divorce is the hardest obstacle I've had to overcome in my life. I would like to believe that most people don't get married anticipating divorce. When I reached that crossroad, I felt like such a failure. After years of therapy together, I realized that staying together was emotionally destructive. My husband didn't want the divorce, but I did. So there was a lot of bitterness initially. Although we are still divorced, we still call each other "family." It was a journey to get there, but it's a beautiful place to be.
Everyone was like, "Why do you need to meet someone on Match.com?" My response was, "I certainly don't need to meet more of the same broke, acting class guys that I'd been dating my whole life." I needed to change that whole paradigm. So, I decided to meet some corporate guys and see how that worked. So, I went on Match, but I didn't put a picture up, because I'm on television, and I didn't want anybody contacting me for the wrong reasons. So, I had to do the hunting, as it were. I didn't anticipate meeting my husband online, but there he was. And it all worked out!
I've always tried to make sure that what I do really connects with the broader agenda of what my husband Barack Obama is trying to do.... But I also find that I have to be very passionate myself about the issue to be able to represent it well. One of the big issues that I've talked a lot about...is childhood health, nutrition and obesity.
My whole childhood when I was growing up, Michael Jackson was my husband. My cousins had Jackie Jackson and my sister had Jermaine Jackson. We all had the brothers, but Michael was my husband. So, to me, in my little 6-year-old or 13-year-old brain I'm talking to my husband. I don't want to get over excited. I don't want to sound too much like a screaming fan.
The beautiful gift of my husband is that he saw me the way I've always wanted to be seen and there's something really powerful to that. When you find true love I really believe that that's what it is at its core. He makes me want to be a better person, but then he also sees me and reminds me that I am a good person.
When I had been dating my husband for a while, the president Obama said to me, "When is he going to put a ring on it?" And I was like, "Oh, come on. We are so busy. We don't need to think about that." He said, "He needs to put a ring on it because you're worth it." And the thing is, I'm not even kidding you, it was about a week or two later that we got engaged.
It does happen to be a historical fact that my husband served as president for eight years. And there's a lot that happened which helped the American people during those eight years. I want an economy that creates more jobs. And that's a lot of jobs. I want an economy that gets back to raising incomes for everybody.
After my husband, Dave, died, I called my friend Adam, a psychologist who studies how people find meaning in our lives, and I asked him what, if anything, I could do to help myself and my kids get through this. We started talking about resilience, then reading about it, then talking to other people who had gotten through grief and other huge challenges. In time, those conversations and that research helped me heal.
You have to judge everybody on balance, all the positives and all the negatives. In the life of my husband, I think the positives outweigh the negatives.
With my husband it was never like "omg, should I text him?" or "he didn't call me for two days." So, I think I knew it was right because it just happened so naturally. That's one piece of advice that I would give to women who are struggling in this crazy world of dating.
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