All violence is the result of people tricking themselves into believing that their pain derives from other people and that consequently those people deserve to be punished.
I want to appreciate you without judging. Join you without invading. Invite you without demanding. Leave you without guilt.
Instead of playing the game "Making Life Wonderful", we often play the game called "Who's Right". Do you know that game? It's a game where everybody loses.
When I recognize I've got anger, then I realize it's because I have a need that's not being met.
I never have to worry about another person's response, only how I react to what they say.
When we hear the other person's feelings and needs, we recognize our common humanity.
Classifying and judging people promotes violence.
Peace requires something far more difficult than revenge or merely turning the other cheek; it requires empathizing with the fears and unmet needs that provide the impetus for people to attack each other. Being aware of these feelings and needs, people lose their desire to attack back because they can see the human ignorance leading to these attacks; instead, their goal becomes providing the empathic connection and education that will enable them to transcend their violence and engage in cooperative relationships.
Punishment damages goodwill and self-esteem, and shifts our attention from the intrinsic value of an action to external consequences.
When we understand the needs that motivate our own and others behavior, we have no enemies.
Remember that whatever anyone does, it is an effort to meet a need.
While we may not consider the way we talk to be 'violent,' our words often lead to hurt and pain, whether for others or for ourselves.
Usually a person relates to another under the tacit assumption thatthe other shares his view of reality, that indeed there is only onereality.
What I want in my life is compassion a flow between myself and others based on mutual giving from the heart.
Be very slow to go into looking for solutions.
If we don't tell people about our needs, it is much less likely they will be met.
We can never make anyone do anything against their will without enormous consequences.
A need is life seeking expression within us.
With every choice you make, be conscious of what need it serves.
The only sensible person is my tailor. He measures me anew each time he sees me.
All human actions are an attempt to meet needs.
When it comes to giving advice, never do so unless you've first received a request in writing, signed by a lawyer.
I don't think you can have an authentic connection when one person is diagnosing the other.
The most dangerous of all behaviors may consist of doing things 'because we're supposed to.
Anger, depression, guilt, and shame are the product of the thinking that is at the base of violence on our planet.
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