Marshall Rosenberg has a genius for developing and teaching practical skills urgently needed for a less violent, more caring world.
The most important use of NVC may be in developing self-compassion.
Speak Peace sums up decades of healing and peacework. It would be hard to list all the kinds of people who can benefit from reading this book, because it's really any and all of us.
Speak Peace is a book that comes at an appropriate time when anger and violence dominates human attitudes. Marshall Rosenberg gives us the means to create peace through our speech and communication. A brilliant book.
Analyses of others are actually expressions of our own needs and values
All people ever say is: THANK YOU (a celebration of life) and PLEASE (an opportunity to make life more wonderful).
Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. When we really listen to people there is an alternating current, and this recharges us so that we never get tired of each other. We are constantly being re-created.
Understanding and connection can transcend conflict.
Empathize, rather than put your "but" in the face of an angry person.
Once you can clearly describe what you are reacting to, free of your interpretation or evaluation of it, other people are less likely to be defensive when they hear it.
Every moment each human being is doing the best we know at that moment to meet our needs. We never do anything that is not in the service of a need, there is no conflict on our planet at the level of needs. We all have the same needs. The problem is in strategies for meeting the needs.
As NVC replaces our old patterns of defending, withdrawing or attacking in the face of judgment and criticism. We come to perceive ourselves and others, as well as our intentions and relationships, in a new light. Resistance, defensiveness, and violent reactions are minimized.
Understanding the other persons' needs does not mean you have to give up on your own needs.
As long as I think I 'should' do it, I'll resist it, even if I want very much to do it.
That's all nonviolence is - organized love.
I believe that the most joyful and intrinsic motivation human beings have for taking any action is the desire to meet our needs and the needs of others.
Don't get addicted to your requests. Your objective is needs, not requests. Because then it becomes a demand.
Avoid 'shoulding' on others and yourself!
When I am angry I have a judgment and an unmet need.
Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need.
When people hear needs, it provokes compassion. When people hear diagnoses, it provokes defensiveness and attack.
Our survival as a species depends on our ability to recognize that our well-being and the well-being of others are in fact one and the same.
Staying with empathy we allow speakers to touch deeper levels of themselves.
At the root of every tantrum and power struggle are unmet needs.
People don't make us angry, how we think makes us angry.
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