Waiting Quotes - Page 25

• Presenting the Oscars was the most nerve-racking job I have ever done in show business. It's very much a live show: they have comedy writers waiting in the wings, and as you come off between presentations, they hand you an appropriate gag to tell.

  Michael Caine

  Jobs, Hands, Wings

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• 'SMiLE' is perhaps the Beach Boys' most legendary album. It was recorded in 1966 and 1967 but only saw a formal release in 2011. That's a long time to wait for what was said to be Brian Wilson's masterpiece.

  Henry Rollins

  Beach, Boys, Long

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• Please don't think that I am one of those squishy types who can't handle reality. I have plenty of real-world things to deal with all the time. I have deadlines, meetings, I answer the phone, I get turned down, I wait in lines and am forced to pass for normal all the time.

  Henry Rollins

  Real, Thinking, Phones

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• Tomorrow every Duchess in London will be waiting to kiss me.

  Ramsay MacDonald

  Kissing, Aristocracy, London

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• We passionately long that there may be another life in which we shall be similar to what we are here below. But we do not pause to reflect that, even without waiting for that other life, in this life, after a few years we are unfaithful to what we have been, to what we wished to remain immortally.

  Marcel Proust

  Years, Long, May

  Marcel Proust (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Marcel Proust (Illustrated)”, p.2893, Delphi Classics

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• I can see it now: Osama bin Laden goes up to the pearly gates where George Washington comes out, starts beating him and is then joined by 70 other members of the Continental Congress. Osama will say, Hey, wait! Where are my 71 virgins? And George will reply It's 71 Virginians, you asshole!

  Robin Williams

  Hey, Osama Bin Laden, Congress

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• Nobody's good. I hate it. I truly hate it. I mean, there's a lot of guys doing stuff I admire, but stand-up-wise I feel very alone. I really miss Bill Hicks. I wish I could have put him on my show. And I really miss Sam Kinison a lot. Richard Pryor's sick... It's like you get here and then, oh wait a minute, there's nobody here any more. I feel like the guy who finally got into Studio 54, three years too late, Duh, where are all the famous people?

  Chris Rock

  Wise, Hate, Mean

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• I am a pack of nerves while waiting for the moment, and this feeling grows and grows and grows and then it explodes, it is a physical joy, a dance, space and time united. Yes, yes, yes, yes!

  Henri Cartier-Bresson

  Space, Joy, Feelings

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• I want to play a villain - I can't wait to play a villain.

  Bernie Mac

  Play, Want, Villain

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• I have a friend who's collecting unemployment insurance. This guy has never worked so hard in his life as he has to keep this thing going. He's down there every week, waiting on the lines and getting interviewed and making up all these lies about looking for jobs. If they had any idea of the effort and energy that he is expending to avoid work, I'm sure they'd give him a raise.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Jobs, Lying, Ideas

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• It's always helpful to remember that in the grand scheme of things you are much more important than... um, wait, than... something, maybe.

  Demetri Martin

  Important, Helpful, Remember

  Twitter post from Jun 14, 2012

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• Time and tide and hookers wait for no man.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Men, Tides

  Rodney Dangerfield (2009). “It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs”, p.77, Zondervan

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• At Christmas time we couldn't afford tinsel, so we'd wait till grandpa sneezed.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Grandpa, Christmas Time, Tinsel

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• Across the nation, thousands of people are lining up in hospital waiting rooms, out the doors, down the steps, around the corners, and behind the hedges, waiting for their inoculations. Here's another idea for avoiding the flu: DON'T stand outside in the cold for hours around lots of other people.

  Jon Stewart

  Waiting Rooms, Doors, Ideas

  "The Daily Show". www.imdb.com. 1996.

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• Cameras are dangerous. With no waiting period or background check, any whack-job could just stroll into a Wal-Mart and walk out with a semi-automatic. Now, for years I've been pressing for stricter regulations on cameras, especially around our elected officials. Too many political lives have been cut short by some crazed shooter.

  Stephen Colbert

  Jobs, Cutting, Years

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• It's always the guy who gets the diarrhea on the commercial at an inconvenient moment. As if you've ever been in a situation: 'You know, this would be a great time to get the runs, you think? I mean the sun's out, we're on the ferris wheel - what are we waiting for?

  Richard Jeni

  Running, Mean, Thinking

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• The beat generation is a coffeehouse full of people expectantly looking at their watches waiting for the beat generation to come on.

  Mort Sahl

  People, Watches, Generations

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• In the power and splendor of the universe, inspiration waits for the millions to come. Man has only to strive for it. Poems greater than the Iliad, plays greater than Macbeth, stories more engaging than Don Quixote await their seeker and finder.

  John Masefield

  Inspiration, Men, Play

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• Self-defense is only an illusion, a dark cloak beneath which lurks a razor-sharp dagger waiting to be plunged into the first unwary victim. Whoever declares that any weapon manufactured today, whether it be a nuclear missile or a .38 special, is created for self-defense should look a little more closely at his own image in the mirror. Either he is a liar or is deceiving himself.

  Wong Shun Leung

  Liars, Dark, Mirrors

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• You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Cousin, Redneck, Might

  Jeff Foxworthy (2004). “There's No Place Like (A Mobile) Home For The Holidays: A Redneck Christmas”, p.47, Thomas Nelson Inc

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• He's comming to meet me on Sun. Cant wait!!... Please God let him love me!!... This could be it [followed by five happy faces].... Hes going to publish my pictures Im so glad I didn't sleep with him either!... I hate for men to want sex all the time. I hate sex anyway. (1992, diary entry as she prepares for a meeting with Paul Marciano, head of Guess.)

  Anna Nicole Smith

  Sex, Hate, Sleep

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• I'm waiting for my kids to grow up and get into the Offspring and look at me like I'm a total candy-ass.

  Jakob Dylan

  Growing Up, Kids, Looks

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• The virus in the movie 'Contagion' is based on the bird flu which came out of nowhere back in 2008. Everyone thought it was going to change the way we live and it just faded away. Wait a minute, I'm talking about President Obama.

  Craig Ferguson

  Talking, Bird, President

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• I would like to have a family someday, and I can't wait to be a stay-at-home mom.

  Stacy Keibler

  Mom, Home, Someday

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.

  Artie Lange

  Girl, Father, Two

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