Witty Birthday Quotes

• Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Birthday, Time

  122 Copy quote

• Its better to wear out than to rust out.

  Richard Cumberland

  Birthday, Rust, Labor

  In George Horne 'The Duty of Contending for the Faith' (1786) p. 21n.

  7 Copy quote

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  Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Funny, Happy Birthday, Family

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  71 Copy quote

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• They tell you that you'll lose your mind when you grow older. What they don't tell you is that you won't miss it very much.

  Malcolm Cowley

  Birthday, Missing You, Mind

  Malcolm Cowley (1982). “The view from 80”, Penguin Books, 1982

  17 Copy quote

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• There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval.

  George Santayana

  Inspirational, Life, Birthday

  Soliloquies in England and Later Soliloquies "War Shrines" (1922)

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• Please don't retouch my wrinkles. It took me so long to earn them.

  Anna Magnani

  Funny, Birthday, Humorous

  "Philip French's screen legends" by Philip French, www.theguardian.com. April 19, 2008.

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• Youth comes but once in a lifetime.

  Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

  Inspirational, Life, Birthday

  Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1851). “The prose works of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow”, p.97

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• You've heard of the three ages of man - youth, age, and you are looking wonderful.

  Francis Spellman

  Funny, Birthday, Meaningful

  9 Copy quote

• I love everything that's old, - old friends, old times, old manners, old books, old wine.

  Oliver Goldsmith

  Love, Friendship, Birthday

  1773 She Stoops to Conquer, act 1, sc.1.

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• Youth had been a habit of hers for so long that she could not part with it.

  Rudyard Kipling

  Birthday, Long, Youth

  Rudyard Kipling (2016). “Plain Tales from the Hills”, p.208, Rudyard Kipling

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• To me - old age is always ten years older than I am.

  Bernard Baruch

  Birthday, Years, Age

  16 Copy quote

• Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.

  Bob Hope

  Birthday, Morning, Believe

  13 Copy quote

• The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.

  Brian Tracy

  Love, Inspirational, Motivational

  Twitter post from Jan 07, 2015

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• You will recognize, my boy, the first sign of old age: it is when you go out into the streets of London and realize for the first time how young the policemen look.

  Seymour Hicks

  Birthday, Boys, Age

  In C. R. D. Pulling They Were Singing (1952) ch. 7

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• With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come.

  William Shakespeare

  Birthday, Happiness, Being Happy

  1596-7 Graziano toAntonio.TheMerchant ofVenice, act1, sc.1, l.79-80.

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• Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.

  Maurice Chevalier

  Funny, Birthday, Health

  Quoted in James B. Simpson, Contemporary Quotations (1964)

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• I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Happy Birthday, Friends

  39 Copy quote

• As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two.

  Norman Wisdom

  Funny, Birthday, Memories

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  1599 Copy quote

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• The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.

  Oprah Winfrey

  Inspirational, Life, Motivational

  88 Copy quote
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  The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Happy Birthday, Growing Up

  "Phrases and Philosophies for the Use of the Young" (1894)

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• Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.

  C. E. M. Joad

  Birthday, Wine, Turning 50

  17 Copy quote

• Men are like wine - some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.

  Pope John XXIII

  Birthday, Drinking, Wine

  119 Copy quote

• A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

  Erma Bombeck

  Birthday, Marriage, Husband

  Erma Bombeck (2013). “The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank”, p.135, Open Road Media

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• In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.

  Abraham Lincoln

  Inspirational, Life, Motivational

  618 Copy quote

• A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

  Robert Frost

  Funny, Happy Birthday, Growing Up

  145 Copy quote