Witty Birthday Quotes

Today you are you! That is truer than true!

Dr. Seuss

Happy Birthday, Funny Birthday, Monday

"Happy Birthday to You!". Book by Dr. Seuss, 1959.

13 Copy quote

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I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'

Steven Wright

Funny, Happy Birthday, Friends

31 Copy quote
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.

Truman Capote

Life, Birthday, Humorous

27 Copy quote
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

Mark Twain

Birthday, Growing Up, Memories

"Mark Twain's Own Autobiography," North American Review, 1 Mar. 1907

16 Copy quote

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The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.

Lucille Ball

Happy Birthday, Beauty, Funny Birthday

87 Copy quote
Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!

Dr. Seuss

Inspirational, Funny, Life

"Happy Birthday to You!". Book by Dr. Seuss, 1959.

73 Copy quote

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With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come.

William Shakespeare

Birthday, Happiness, Being Happy

1596-7 Graziano toAntonio.TheMerchant ofVenice, act1, sc.1, l.79-80.

62 Copy quote

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Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Mark Twain

Inspirational, Funny, Motivational

401 Copy quote
The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.

Oscar Wilde

Funny, Happy Birthday, Growing Up

"Phrases and Philosophies for the Use of the Young" (1894)

48 Copy quote

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The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.

Oprah Winfrey

Inspirational, Life, Motivational

45 Copy quote
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two.

Norman Wisdom

Funny, Birthday, Memories

"Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

1226 Copy quote

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In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.

Abraham Lincoln

Inspirational, Life, Motivational

289 Copy quote
Men are like wine - some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.

Pope John XXIII

Birthday, Drinking, Wine

82 Copy quote
Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.

C. E. M. Joad

Birthday, Wine, Turning 50

9 Copy quote
A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

Erma Bombeck

Birthday, Marriage, Husband

Erma Bombeck (2013). “The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank”, p.135, Open Road Media

4 Copy quote

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Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven't committed.

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Birthday, Growing Up, Getting Older

62 Copy quote
Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.

Maurice Chevalier

Funny, Birthday, Health

Quoted in James B. Simpson, Contemporary Quotations (1964)

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A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

Robert Frost

Funny, Happy Birthday, Growing Up

107 Copy quote
There is still no cure for the common birthday.

John Glenn

Happy Birthday, Friends, Funny Birthday

"Ohio's Sen. Glenn Won't Run Again In 1998" by Candy Crowley, www.cnn.com.

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You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.

Germaine Greer

Life, Happy Birthday, Happiness

240 Copy quote
We have to be able to grow up. Our wrinkles are our medals of the passage of life. They are what we have been through and who we want to be.

Lauren Hutton

Birthday, Growing Up, Wrinkles

"Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

126 Copy quote

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To me - old age is always ten years older than I am.

Bernard Baruch

Birthday, Years, Age

6 Copy quote
Its better to wear out than to rust out.

Richard Cumberland

Birthday, Rust, Labor

In George Horne 'The Duty of Contending for the Faith' (1786) p. 21n.

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You will recognize, my boy, the first sign of old age: it is when you go out into the streets of London and realize for the first time how young the policemen look.

Seymour Hicks

Birthday, Boys, Age

In C. R. D. Pulling They Were Singing (1952) ch. 7

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If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes.

Euripides

Birthday, Mistake, Knowledge

5 Copy quote