Your Grandmother Quotes - Page 3

• If you know somebody very well, like your grandmother or your baby sister, you will know when they are real and when they are fake.

  Daniel Handler

  Baby, Real, Grandmother

  "The Reptile Room". Book by Daniel Handler, 1999.

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• In spite of the seven thousand books of expert advice, the right way to disciplne a child is still a mystery to most fathers and...mothers Only your grandmother and Genghis Khan know how to do it.

  Bill Cosby

  Family, Mother, Children

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• You, your grandmother, the chairman----YOU'RE ALL ABUNCH OF FRIGGIN' IDIOTS!!!" ~Haruhi

  Bisco Hatori

  Grandmother, Idiot, Chairman

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• She'd read once that if you ran into a bear in the woods you should avoid eye contact and you shouldn't run away, but all she knew about wolves is that you should never tell them how to find your grandmother's house.

  Anne Ursu

  Running, Eye, Grandmother

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• Granana doesn't understand what the big deal is. She didn't cry at Olivia's funeral, and I doubt she even remembers Olivia's name. Granana lost, like, ninety-two million kids in childbirth. All of her brothers died in the war. She survived the Depression by stealing radish bulbs from her neighbors' garden, and fishing the elms for pigeons. Dad likes to remind us of this in a grave voice, as if it explained her jaundiced pitilessness: "Boys. Your grandmother ate pigeons."

  Karen Russell

  Brother, Dad, War

  "Haunting Olivia" by Karen Russell, www.newyorker.com. June 13, 2005.

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• I sent a lot of publishing ideas to my publisher, about 30 of them. Each time except 3, i got a "rejection letter". This is basically what a rejection letter is like: Hello Pathetic Moron, We read your book. It sucked. Don't send us another one. If you do, we will run over your grandmother with a bus. Don't Do It. From, Your Publisher

  James Dashner

  Running, Book, Grandmother

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• You're dropping the bow hand as you release," he called, although Halt certainly wasn't. His mentor looked around, saw him, and replied pithily, "I believe your grandmother needs lessons in sucking eggs.

  John Flanagan

  Believe, Grandmother, Hands

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• We need a barn or one of those storage areas for the Broken vehicles." "A garage?" He gave her a short nod. "A private, relatively remote location, with thick walls to dampen the sound and preferably a sturdy door I could bolt from the inside, keeping your grandmother, your brothers, and all other painfully annoying spectators out..." Rose began to laugh. A make-out bunker... "I'm glad you find our dilemma hilarious.

  Ilona Andrews

  Brother, Wall, Grandmother

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• Avoid stock expressions (like the plague, as William Safire used to say) and repetitions. Don't say that as a boy your grandmother used to read to you, unless at that stage of her life she really was a boy, in which case you have probably thrown away a better intro. If something is worth hearing or listening to, it's very probably worth reading. So, this above all: Find your own voice.

  Christopher Hitchens

  Reading, Grandmother, Boys

  Christopher Hitchens (2012). “Mortality”, p.33, Atlantic Books Ltd

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• It's still the best game in town because you don't have to be big to play, and everybody plays. Even your grandmother probably played baseball.

  Tommy Lasorda

  Baseball, Grandmother, Games

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• Eating meat is the most disgusting thing I can think of. It's like biting into your grandmother.

  Steven Morrissey

  Grandmother, Thinking, Meat

  "Auction of signed copy of Morrissey's Autobiography raises £8,000 for Peta", www.theguardian.com. December 31, 2013.

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• Do not be proud of the fact that your grandmother was shocked at something which your are accustomed to seeing or hearing without being shocked. ... It may be that your grandmother was an extremely lively and vital animal and that you are a paralytic.

  Gilbert K. Chesterton

  Grandmother, Animal, May

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• Write letters to your grandmother. She will love it. And leave you money in her will.

  Philip Gulley

  Writing, Grandmother, Letters

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• Animals are nicer than humans and they're conscious beings. If you stick your grandmother in an oven, she will probably be tasty. But is that any reason to eat your grandmother?

  Steven Morrissey

  Grandmother, Animal, Vegetarianism

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• Wear a towel instead of a coat, it’s very chic. Or your husband’s boxer shorts with a belt, or something from your grandmother. It’s all about do-it-yourself at the moment.

  Vivienne Westwood

  Husband, Grandmother, Coats

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• My view is that good community management is like having good municipal government: You should be able to have dissenting opinions and so on, freedom of speech, but your grandmother should also be able to walk down the street at night without having to worry about getting mugged.

  Jimmy Wales

  Grandmother, Night, Government

  "Open vs. Closed: Jimmy Wales on Being Open". Interview with Mathew Ingram, gigaom.com. April 29, 2010.

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• If she wasn't your grandmother I'd shoot her." Ranger

  Janet Evanovich

  Grandmother, Rangers, Ifs

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• Most fathers and... Mothers. Only your grandmother and Ghengis Khan know how to do it.

  Bill Cosby

  Mother, Father, Parent

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• My grandmother is a little Cuban woman who cooks all day and speaks Spanish. Your grandmother watches pay-per-view porn." "She used to watch the Weather Channel, but she said there wasn't enough action." -Ranger and Stephanie

  Janet Evanovich

  Grandmother, Views, Weather

  Janet Evanovich (2008). “To the Nines”, p.274, Macmillan

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• If religion is the opiate of the people, tradition is an even more sinister analgesic, simply because it rarely appears sinister. If religion is a tight band, a throbbing vein, and a needle, tradition is a far homelier concoction: poppy seeds ground into tea; a sweet cocoa drink laced with cocaine; the kind of thing your grandmother might have made.

  Zadie Smith

  Sweet, Grandmother, People

  Zadie Smith (2003). “White Teeth”, p.161, Vintage

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• As I learned from growing up, you don't mess with your grandmother.

  Prince William

  Funny, Growing Up, Grandma

  "Katie Couric Interviews Prince William, Harry In ABC News Special For Diamond Jubilee". www.huffingtonpost.com. May 15, 2012.

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• When we send our children to school, they learn nothing about us other than we used to be cotton pickers. Why, your grandfather was Nat Turner; your grandfather was Toussaint L'Ouverture; your grandfather was Hannibal. It was your grandfather's hands who forged civilization and it was your grandmother's hands who rocked the cradle of civilization. But the textbooks tell our children nothing.

  Malcolm X

  Children, School, Grandmother

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• If you go to Atlanta, the first question people ask you is, "What's your business?" In Macon they ask, "Where do you go to church?" In Augusta they ask your grandmother's maiden name. But in Savannah the first question people ask you is "What would you like to drink?"

  John Berendt

  Grandmother, Atlanta, Names

  "Even in the Best of Cities" by Jonathan Yardley, www.washingtonpost.com. February 06, 1994.

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• One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother's day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather!

  Groucho Marx

  Grandmother, Men, Grandfather

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• I am a woman phenomenally, phenomenal woman that is your grandmother, that is your mother, that is your sister, that is you and that is me.

  Maya Angelou

  Mother, Phenomenal Woman, Grandmother

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