Your Stupid Quotes

• Then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life... You give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it. They do something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore.

  Neil Gaiman

  Love, Life, Smile

  "The Sandman: The Kindly Ones". Book by Neil Gaiman, 1996.

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• Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

  Albert Einstein

  Funny, Hilarious, Education

  Albert Einstein (2015). “Bite-Size Einstein: Quotations on Just About Everything from the Greatest Mind of the Twentieth Century”, p.32, St. Martin's Press

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• The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

  Harlan Ellison

  Funny, Life, Stupid

  Harlan Ellison, Arnie Fenner (2011). “Bugf#ck: The Useless Wit & Wisdom of Harlan Ellison”

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• 

  Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

  George Carlin

  Nature, Philosophy, Stupid

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  Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.

  Euripides

  Relationship, Stupid, Communication

  Euripides (2013). “Euripides V: Bacchae, Iphigenia in Aulis, The Cyclops, Rhesus”, p.38, University of Chicago Press

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• Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.

  Brooke Shields

  Funny, Life, Witty

  Testimony at House of Representatives hearings on cigarette advertising, 25 June 1981

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• Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.

  Elbert Hubbard

  Funny, Business, Stupid

  Elbert Hubbard, Bert Hubbard (1923). “Selected writings of Elbert Hubbard: his mintage of wisdom, coined from a life of love, laughter and work”

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• I am infected with your stupidity.

  Ryan Dunn

  Stupidity

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• If you can only remain pure in your stupidity, someday you may get a phone call from hell.

  Charles Bukowski

  Phones, Stupidity, Phone Calls

  Charles Bukowski (2009). “Hollywood”, p.27, Canongate Books

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• Of all the consumer products, chewing gum is perhaps the most ridiculous: it literally has no nourishment – you just chew it to give yourself something to do with your stupid idiot Western mouth. Half the world is starving, and the other’s going, ‘I don’t actually need any nutrition, but it would be good to masticate, just to keep my mind off things.

  Russell Brand

  Stupid, Giving, Mind

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• What you believe might be wrong; what you don't believe might be right! Don't be sure of things! Doubt! Investigate! Leave your stupid conceit that your belief is an absolute truth! Open your mind to all the possibilities!

  Mehmet Murat Ildan

  Stupid, Believe, Doubt

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• By the time you are in your thirties, most of the time, you've got a job, you can pay for your rent, you can create this nice world around you. And still, you're only in your thirties - you're not that far away from your twenties, which is when you're making all of your stupid mistakes.

  Katie Aselton

  Jobs, Mistake, Nice

  "Katie Aselton’s Freebie-jeebies". Interview with Alexandria Symonds, www.interviewmagazine.com. January 12, 2011.

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• Do not blame God for your stupid decisions.

  Laura Schlessinger

  Women, Stupid, Decision

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• Most people would never admit it, but they'd been bitching since they were born. As soon as their head popped out into that bright delivery-room light, nothing had been right. Nothing had been as comfortable or felt so good. Just the effort it took to keep your stupid physical body alive, just finding food and cooking it and dishwashing, the keeping warm and bathing and sleeping, the walking and bowel movements and ingrown hairs, it was all getting to be too much work.

  Chuck Palahniuk

  Stupid, Sleep, Light

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• When you're jealous, especially of someone else's art or creations you automatically put up these selfish walls that reinforce your stupid ideas. It's hard to pull those walls down and look at what you're hiding. Look at your own weakness and realize that the jealousy came from knowing that you're intimidated by someone else's work, and that when you compare it to your own, you fall short.

  Joe Rogan

  Art, Wall, Selfish

  Reddit AMA, www.reddit.com. November 20, 2014.

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• I recalled when I worked in the woods and the bars of Madras, Oregon. That short-haired joy and roughness America your stupidity. I could almost love you again.

  Gary Snyder

  Love You, Oregon, America

  Gary Snyder (1992). “No nature: new and selected poems”, Pantheon

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• If the Scottish want to break away, I shall stand on Hadrian's Wall with a teary handkerchief, and say: 'Good riddance to the lot of you, and take your stupid bagpipes with you.'

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Wall, Stupid, Bagpipes

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• Now suppose both death and hell were utterly defeated.  Suppose the fight was fixed.  Suppose God took you on a crystal ball trip into your future and you saw with indubitable certainty that despite everything — your sin, your smallness, your stupidity — you could have free for the asking your whole crazy heart’s deepest desire: heaven, eternal joy.  Would you not return fearless and singing?  What can earth do to you, if you are guaranteed heaven?  To fear the worst earthly loss would be like a millionaire fearing the loss of a penny — less, a scratch on a penny.

  Peter Kreeft

  Crazy, Heart, Loss

  Peter Kreeft (1989). “Heaven, the Heart's Deepest Longing”, p.82, Ignatius Press

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• I did throw a lot of eggs into one basket, as you do in your teenage years - 'I am buying these records, I am wearing this'. I did quite a bit of that. You have to do it, wear your stupid shoes, wear your stupid hair.

  Dylan Moran

  Teenage, Stupid, Eggs

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• Nico danced around like he needed to use the restroom. "Does Zeus really have lightning bolts that do six hundred damage? Does he get extra movement points for—" "Nico, shut up!" Bianca put her hands to her face. "This is not your stupid Mythomagic game, okay? There are no gods!

  Rick Riordan

  Stupid, Hands, Games

  Rick Riordan (2008). “Percy Jackson and the Titan's Curse”, p.30, Penguin UK

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• Shutup,Caine," Edilio said in a voice so soft it was almost a whisper. Anger, a dangerous anger, flared in Caine. "Who are you to talk to me that way?" "You've been the problem, Caine. From the start. You're the one who kept us from ever really being able to unite, to fight this thing, You and your stupid need to control everyone. Don't you come here now all sheepish, all head hanging down and tell me you're scared." Edilio stabbed a finger in Caine's chest. It was such a un-Edilio moment it surprised them both.

  Michael Grant

  Stupid, Fighting, Voice

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• It is better just to get on with the business of living and minding your own business and maybe, if God likes the way you do things, he may just let you flower for a day or a night. But don't go pestering and begging and telling him all your stupid little sins, that way you will spoil his day.

  Bryce Courtenay

  Stupid, Flower, Night

  Bryce Courtenay (1989). “The Power of One”, Random House LLC

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• Great God! What have I turned into? What right have you people to clutter up my life, steal my time, probe my soul, suckle my thoughts, have me for your companion, confidant, and information bureau? What do you take me for? Am I an entertainer on salary, required every evening to play an intellectual farce under your stupid noses? Am I a slave, bought and paid for, to crawl on my belly in front of you idlers and lay at your feet all that I do and all that I know?

  Henry Miller

  Stupid, Play, Feet

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• Kayla Robinson, if you don't shut up I'll fly down there and suck every last bit of blood from your stupid cheating cow body!

  P. C. Cast

  Cheating, Stupid, Blood

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• I want to make you faint. I will make you faint. You've had this coming to you for years. None of the fools you've known have kissed you like this - have they? Your precious Charles or Frank or your stupid Ashley... I said your stupid Ashley. Gentlemen all - what do they know about women? What do they know about you? I know you.

  Margaret Mitchell

  Stupid, Years, Gentleman

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