Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
I love mankind; it's people I can't stand.
The worst thing you can do is nothing.
If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.
I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it.
My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?
This is my depressed stance. When you're depressed, it makes a lot of difference how you stand. The worst thing you can do is straighten up and hold your head high because then you'll start to feel better. If you're going to get any joy out of being depressed, you've got to stand like this.
That's the secret to life... replace one worry with another.
I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong.
I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts.
Space is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist, but that's just peanuts to space.
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.
I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
Try not to have a good time... this is supposed to be educational.
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask why me? Then a voice answers nothing personal, your name just happened to come up.
Big sisters are the crab grass in the lawn of life.
Learn from yesterday, live for today, look to tomorrow, rest this afternoon.
In the Book of Life, The answers aren't in the back.