The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.
Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.
Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.
When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch.
Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job.
The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income.
When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income.
Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.
When you retire, you switch bosses - from the one who hired you to the one who married you.
Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did.
Preparation for old age should begin not later than one's teens. A life which is empty of purpose until 65 will not suddenly become filled on retirement.
Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf.
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day.
Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I'm home - forever."
Retirement is the ugliest word in the language.
Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did.
The Republican Party is a friend of Social Security the way Colonel Sanders was a friend of chickens.
You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.
or simply:
