P. J. O'Rourke Inspirational Quotes

Quotes about: Inspirational

• Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Inspirational, Funny, Money

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government”, p.24, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

• If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Inspirational, Humor, Thinking

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Age and Guile Beat Youth, Innocence, and a Bad Haircut”, p.228, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

• One of the annoying things about believing in free will and individual responsibility is the difficulty of finding somebody to blame your problems on. And when you do find somebody, it's remarkable how often his picture turns up on your driver's license.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Inspirational, Believe, Responsibility

  "Housewives, Sure, but What Makes Them Real?" by Neil Genzlinger, www.nytimes.com. May 15, 2011.

• Getting down on all fours and imitating a rhinoceros stops babies from crying. (Put an empty cigarette pack on your nose for a horn and make loud "snort" noises.) I don't know why parents don't do this more often. Usually it makes the kid laugh. Sometimes it sends him into shock. Either way it quiets him down. If you're a parent, acting like a rhino has another advantage. Keep it up until the kid is a teenager and he definitely won't have his friends hanging around your house all the time.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Inspirational, Mom, Baby

• Abstract anger is great for rhetorical carrying on. You can go on endlessly about the post office, but it doesn't mean you're mad at your mailman.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Inspirational, Mean, Office

• Mankind has invested more than four million years of evolution in the attempt to avoid physical exertion. Now a group of backward-thinking atavists mounted on foot-powered pairs of Hula-Hoops would have us pumping our legs, gritting our teeth, and searing our lungs as though we were being chased across the Pleistocene savanna by saber-toothed tigers. Think of the hopes, the dreams, the effort, the brilliance, the pure force of will that, over the eons, has gone into the creation of the Cadillac Coupe de Ville. Bicycle riders would have us throw all this on the ash heap of history.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Inspirational, Dream, Thinking

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Republican Party Reptile: The Confessions, Adventures, Essays and (Other) Outrages of P.J. O'Rourke”, p.126, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

• Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Inspirational, Rude, Luck

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People”, p.279, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

• The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Inspirational, New Year, Clever

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People”, p.138, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

• Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Inspirational, Funny, Witty

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “The Enemies List”, p.7, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

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