It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether.
I love the way my weight fluctuates in the newspapers. It was 18 stone and then people look at a bad picture of me and add a few more stone on. I think the highest was 22 stone.
I believe that Britain is becoming more class-conscious, and I quake at the very idea of Old Etonians ruling the world again.
Comedy's so subjective, and if someone comes to watch, doesn't get it, doesn't find it funny, then fine.
If an original piece of wardrobe came up from Star Wars, I'd probably spend a lot of money on it.
Being 'Johnny' was almost like an out of body experience. I thought he was just a character that I'd created and could quite easily step away from, but it was much more difficult than that.
I trained to be a priest - started to. I went to seminary school when I was 11. I wanted to be a priest, but when they told me I could never have sex, not even on my birthday, I changed my mind.
You can't be a proper comic unless you've been out on stage and felt the fear.
I used to be good with kids, but as I get older, I'm grumpy and terrible with them. As for doing a gig at a 6-year old's birthday party, you couldn't pay me enough.
I've spent lots of time in London, I studied in London, I like London. It's just not my home.
I'm getting positive feedback for my acting so we'll see if any other interesting parts come up.
I hate flying, airports and the whole rigmarole - queuing up, security and lost luggage.
I always feel like an interloper when I do serious drama. It's my own paranoia.
I had a massive amount of self-belief when I did stand-up.
I used to attract a lot of feeders. I'd be quite happy to be locked in someone's flat and fed liquidised burgers.
When I wasn't as attractive as I am now, I suffered at the hands of cruel children and their taunts until I realised that confidence and a bit of aesthetic care can overcome that.
We all have days where we can't pronounce things or give it the emotion it deserves.
I actually enjoy being heckled; it keeps it interesting, and I think it is a nice feeling for people once they have left the show.
Baldness is visually enough of a stigma as it is without a big sweaty bloke on stage pointing it out.
Class still matters in Britain today.
For the greater good, I thought I should be a spiritual leader for people for some reason.
Had I become a priest, the sermons would've been electric!
Health-wise, I couldn't have said what my life expectancy would've been if I'd just carried on doing solid blocks of stand-up.
I am a big fan of smelly cheeses but the rest of the family don't seem to be particularly keen on them.
I was loved as a kid; I was raised with more love and emotional support than most folks could wish for my memories aged nought to ten are all bound up together in a mesh of innocence and fun.
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