Norm Crosby Quotes

• When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

  Norm Crosby

  Funny, Hilarious, Smart

  332 Copy quote

• My school was so tough the school newspaper had an obituary section.

  Norm Crosby

  Funny, Graduation, Witty

  34 Copy quote

• If your eyes hurt after you drink coffee, you have to take the spoon out of the cup.

  Norm Crosby

  Hurt, Coffee, Eye

  46 Copy quote

• Teenagers don't know what love is. They have mixed-up ideas. They go for a drive and the boy runs out of gas and they smooch a little and the girl says she loves him. That isn't love. Love is when you are married twenty-five years, smooching in your living room and he runs out of gas and she says she still loves him. That's love.

  Norm Crosby

  Girl, Running, Best Love

  47 Copy quote

• Why do Canadians like to do it doggie style? So they can both keep watching the hockey game

  Norm Crosby

  Hockey, Games, Style

  31 Copy quote

• All's fair if you have a really good attorney.

  Norm Crosby

  Attorney, Fairs, Ifs

  15 Copy quote

• I met Elvis first in Las Vegas. I think I was appearing with Tom Jones and he came backstage to say hello to Tom or we went to his dressing room to say hello.

  Norm Crosby

  Redneck, Thinking, Las Vegas

  Interview with Elvis Australia, www.elvis.com.au. February 15, 2005.

  14 Copy quote

• I was the first spokesperson for the Better Hearing Institute in Washington. And that's the message we tried to send out - there is hearing help out there, and the technology and options are amazing.

  Norm Crosby

  Technology, Hearing, Messages

  12 Copy quote

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