The only medicine that needs no prescription, has no unpleasant taste, and costs no money is laughter.
We can't do much about the length of our lives, but we can do plenty about it's width and depth.
You are not fully dressed until you wear a smile.
If you want to be different nowadays, just act normal.
Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration,and inspiration.
America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.
Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.
In a democracy, you believe it or not; in a dictatorship, you believe it or else.
There are two kinds of leaders: those who are interested in the flock, and those who are interested in the fleece.
You can always make a loan at a bank if you can show sufficient evidence that you don't need it.
If it required some effort to go from today to tomorrow, some people would always remain in yesterday.
The only place where you can find equality is in the cemetery.
Think twice before you speak, and then you may be able to say something more insulting than if you spoke right out at once.
Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.
An expert is someone who takes something you already know and makes it sound confusing.
The trouble with dieting is that a pound of will power takes off only an ounce of weight.
Nothing ages your car as much as the sight of your neighbor's new one.
All men are created equal and endowed by their Creator with a mighty urge to become otherwise.
There's only one thing worse than to live without working, and that is to work without living.
The disadvantage of becoming wise is that you realize how foolish you've been.
Do a little more every day than you are expected to do, and soon you will be expected to do more.
Compare what you want with what you have, and you'll be unhappy; compare what you deserve with what you have, and you'll be happy.
The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about.
Adam and Eve were the first of all unions to defy management.
The best way to spoil a good story is by sticking to the facts.
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