Funny Valentines Day Quotes - Page 3

• One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.

  Oscar Wilde

  Love, Funny, Sarcastic

  Oscar Wilde (2004). “The Best of Oscar Wilde: Selected Plays and Writings”, p.144, Penguin

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• Love is just a chocolate substitute.

  Melanie Clark Pullen

  Love Is, Chocolate, Substitutes

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• When you're in love you never really know whether your elation comes from the qualities of the one you love, or if it attributes them to her; whether the light which surrounds her like a halo comes from you, from her, or from the meeting of your sparks.

  Natalie Clifford Barney

  Love, Valentines Day, Confused

  Natalie Clifford Barney, Anna Livia (1992). “A Perilous Advantage: The Best of Natalie Clifford Barney”, p.110, New Victoria Publishers

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• Today is February 14th - St. Valentine's day. Women call it Love day, while men name it as Extortion day.

  Jay Leno

  Valentines Day, Men, Names

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• Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt that the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar; But never doubt I love.

  William Shakespeare

  Love, Boyfriend, Valentines Day

  'Hamlet' (1601) act 2, sc. 2, l. [115]

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• Love has the power of making you believe what you would normally treat with the deepest suspicion.

  Honore Gabriel Riqueti, comte de Mirabeau

  Love, Believe, Cynical

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• Men have died from time to time, and worms have eaten them, but not for love.

  William Shakespeare

  Love, Men, Confusion

  William Shakespeare (1998). “As You Like It”, p.57, Courier Corporation

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• I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing.

  Jonathan Swift

  Funny, Inspiration, Being In Love

  1738 Polite Conversation, dialogue 2.

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• Better to have loved and lost than to live with regret.

  Big Pun

  Valentines Day, True Love, Sad Love

  Song: Punish Me, Album: Capital Punishment, 1998

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• I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

  Dorothy Parker

  Marriage, Wedding, Stupid

  Dorothy Parker, Stuart Y. Silverstein (2009). “Not Much Fun: The Lost Poems of Dorothy Parker”, p.19, Simon and Schuster

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• Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life.

  Lord Byron

  Love, Funny, Life

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• Valentine's day has gotten blown way out of proportion. Valentine's Day just used to be for your girlfriend or your wife but now everyone's like 'Oh, happy valentine's day!' I even got a Valentine's Day card from my grandmother. How ridiculous is that? We stopped having sex years ago!

  Greg Giraldo

  Funny, Girlfriend, Sex

  41 Copy quote

• The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along.

  Rumi

  Love, Anniversary, Marriage

  Rumi (2015). “Selected Poems”, p.148, Penguin UK

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• Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.

  Lynda Barry

  Love, Funny Love, Best Love

  58 Copy quote

• Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along.

  Rumi

  Love, Inspirational, Relationship

  Rumi (2015). “Selected Poems”, p.148, Penguin UK

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• You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap!

  Dolly Parton

  Fashion, Funny Relationship, Looks

  Twitter post from Jan 30, 2015

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• Ever have that one friend who gets a Valentine's Day gift for their mother? Doens't that freak you out a little? It's like, 'I don't know how to break this to you but I think she's banging your dad!'

  Russ Meneve

  Funny, Mother, Dad

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• What the world really needs is more love and less paper work.

  Pearl Bailey

  Love, Romantic, Valentines Day

  "Weekly World News" Magazine, Vol. 26, No. 33, April 25, 2005.

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• No matter how lovesick a woman is, she shouldn't take the first pill that comes along!

  Joyce Brothers

  Love, Relationship, Pills

  "7 Tips From a Seasoned Woman for Finding True Love" by Joy Weston, www.huffingtonpost.com. September 5, 2014.

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• A man is only as good as what he loves.

  Saul Bellow

  Love, Inspirational, Believe

  "Bellow in his own words". www.theguardian.com. April 6, 2005.

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• I have a dream, and a plan, to combine the commercial possibilities of Valentine's Day with the substance and meaning of black history month. I call it: Blackentine's Day.

  Mo Rocca

  Funny, Dream, Valentine

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• Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.

  Oscar Wilde

  Love, Funny, Relationship

  Oscar Wilde (2010). “Epigrams & Aphorisms”, p.56, BoD – Books on Demand

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• Love doesn't grow on trees like apples in Eden - it's something you have to make. And you must use your imagination too.

  Joyce Cary

  Love, Valentines Day, Eden

  Joyce Cary (1958). “First trilogy: Herself surprised: To be a pilgrim. The horse's mouth”

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• A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.

  Helen Rowland

  Love, Marriage, Wedding

  "A Guide to Men: Being Encore Reflections of a Bachelor Girl". Book by Helen Rowland. Chapter: "Second Marriages", 1922.

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• Happiness is an imaginary condition, formerly attributed by the living to the dead, now usually attributed by adults to children, and by children to adults.

  Thomas Szasz

  Funny, Happiness, Wisdom

  The Second Sin "Emotions" (1973)

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