Dennis Miller Quotes - Page 7

Quotes about:

• I'm a tad paranoid. I think the person in front of me is following me the long way round.

  Dennis Miller

  Thinking, Long, Way

  15 Copy quote

• The French are always reticent to surrender to the wishes of their friends and always more than willing to surrender to the wishes of their enemies.

  Dennis Miller

  Funny, Humor, Enemy

  4 Copy quote

• So who's the big red menace nowadays? Cuba. That's it? I'm sorry, but it's hard to whip up any us against them nationalist fervor about a country whose principal export is citizens who can swim.

  Dennis Miller

  Country, Sorry, Swim

  4 Copy quote

• Check out the helmet hair on Randy Moss, babe! He looks like some freakish anti-Mr. T after a long evening sleeping through 'Aida.'

  Dennis Miller

  Football, Sleep, Hair

  4 Copy quote

• Concussion? How the hell can they tell? They're *football* players, for chrissakes!

  Dennis Miller

  Football, Player, Hell

  5 Copy quote

• I still feel pangs of remorse over an insidious habit I've had since I was a teenager. About three times a week, I attend estate auctions and make insulting, low-ball bids for prized heirlooms until I'm asked to leave.

  Dennis Miller

  Teenager, Insulting, Auctions

  8 Copy quote

• On Thursday, a passenger forced his way into the cockpit of a United Airlines flight from Miami, but was subdued after the co-pilot hit him with a small ax. Good to see our airlines are being kept secure by the latest in 12th century technology.

  Dennis Miller

  Technology, Pilots, Thursday

  4 Copy quote

• Think of Iraq as "East Korea," because it was a shoot the cuffs war for the edification of Kim Jong Il to let him know we've now circled the SUVs. Iraq was about breaking adhesions, getting lean, staying frosty - in short, getting ready for the big Doug MacArthur Memorial Cage Match to come.

  Dennis Miller

  War, Thinking, Korea

  "Eliminating the Axis of Evil". www.foxnews.com. August 30, 2003.

  4 Copy quote

• Wouldn't it be great if all of Osama bin Laden's money was tied up in Enron stock?

  Dennis Miller

  Osama Bin Laden, Enron, Tied Up

  "Enron Collapse Is Money in the Bank for Comedians" by The Associted Press, www.foxnews.com. February 13, 2002.

  4 Copy quote

• I don't need to be born again. I got it right the first time.

  Dennis Miller

  Needs, Firsts, Born Again

  4 Copy quote

• Laughter is one of the great beacons in life because we don't refract it by gunning it through our intellectual prism. What makes us laugh is a mystery - an involuntary response.

  Dennis Miller

  Laughter, Laughing, Intellectual

  5 Copy quote

• And I know your next move, I watch you so much, 'There's been no proven link between the secular state of Iraq and al-Qaeda!' Come on. They both think we're Satan. Isn't that a nice starting point? Why are you so loathe to believe they might have each other on lunatic speed dial?

  Dennis Miller

  Nice, Believe, Moving

  14 Copy quote

• For the foreseeable future, we're going to need oil products because I don't like the idea of hydrogen cars. I'm not sure I want to be cruising around a mall parking lot filled with a thousand mini-Hindenburgs.

  Dennis Miller

  Funny, Humor, Ideas

  "When Did Nature Get So Whiney?". www.foxnews.com. September 12, 2003.

  4 Copy quote

• By and large, I think it should be a rule in the teacher employment manual that you can't go attend any event where if you took your classroom on a student field trip, they would summarily be obliterated. That should be rule No. 1.

  Dennis Miller

  Teacher, Thinking, Events

  Source: www.foxnews.com

  5 Copy quote

• The Democrats continue to snipe at Bush. They'll never give it up to him. You know Teddy Kennedy and Tom Daschle pick more nits than a father and son spider monkey team who know they're being followed by a National Geographic film crew.

  Dennis Miller

  Father, Team, Son

  4 Copy quote

• In the late twentieth century, staying sober has become just as much an addiction as getting wasted.

  Dennis Miller

  Addiction, Sober, Century

  Dennis Miller (2011). “Ranting Again”, p.48, Main Street Books

  4 Copy quote

• Al Gore couldn't be more phony if he were a professional Al Gore impersonator

  Dennis Miller

  Politics, Als, Phony

  7 Copy quote

• I find it shocking that anybody can be brought down in D.C. for gossip, ostensibly. I thought that was the coin of the realm there. That's like getting hit with lightning on a cloudless day.

  Dennis Miller

  Gossip, Lightning, Coins

  Source: www.foxnews.com

  6 Copy quote

• Dennis Kucinich's politics are more scrambled than Rod Steiger's dream journal.

  Dennis Miller

  Dream, Politics, Journal

  "The Joke Is on Liberals, Says Dennis Miller, Host Of His Own Show Again". Interview with Bernard Weinraub, www.nytimes.com. January 15, 2004.

  5 Copy quote

• If I had wanted to ice the little toad, I would have done it a long time ago.

  Dennis Miller

  Ice, Long, Done

  7 Copy quote

• I don't have credibility, I'm a comedian. I'm not Ed Murrow up on the roof in a London fog reporting on the blitz.

  Dennis Miller

  Comedian, Credibility

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  6 Copy quote

• That punt was higher than Marion Berry on a fact-finding tour of Cartagena.

  Dennis Miller

  Football, Berries, Facts

  7 Copy quote

• I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess.

  Dennis Miller

  Funny, Witty, World

  12 Copy quote

• The American education system couldn't be more badly directed or poorly funded if the Secretary of Education were Ed Wood.

  Dennis Miller

  Woods, American Education System, Secretary

  "Ranting Again". Book by Dennis Miller, June 1998.

  5 Copy quote

• Nervous? He's tighter than Pat Buchanan's sphincter muscle at a 4th of July soiree on Fire Island.

  Dennis Miller

  Football, 4th Of July, Fire

  4 Copy quote

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