Spike Milligan Quotes

Quotes about:

• We haven't got a plan so nothing can go wrong!

  Spike Milligan

  Humour, Plans, Miscellaneous

  49 Copy quote

• You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.

  Spike Milligan

  Long, People, President

  Spike Milligan (2014). “Puckoon”, p.14, Penguin UK

  116 Copy quote

• Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.

  Spike Milligan

  Food, Cooking, Chinese

  Spike Milligan (2011). “Milligan's Meaning of Life: An Autobiography of Sorts”, p.198, Penguin UK

  55 Copy quote

• There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.

  Spike Milligan

  Time, Laughing, Three

  48 Copy quote

• Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light

  Spike Milligan

  Blessed, Light, Cracked

  44 Copy quote

• All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

  Spike Milligan

  Money, Saving, Chance

  "Genius declared: Wilde tops the wit list" by Aidan Jones, www.theguardian.com. October 15, 2007.

  70 Copy quote

• Said Hamlet to Ophelia, I'll draw a sketch of thee. What kind of pencil shall I use? 2B or not 2B?

  Spike Milligan

  Use, Kind, Ophelia

  Spike Milligan, “A Silly Poem”

  52 Copy quote

• My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!

  Spike Milligan

  Fathers Day, Jesus, Confused

  44 Copy quote

• We don't have anything planned, so nothing can go wrong.

  Spike Milligan

  18 Copy quote

• On the Ning Nang Nong Where the Cows go Bong! And the Monkeys all say Boo! Theres a Nang Nong Ning Where the trees go Ping! And the tea pots Jibber Jabber Joo On the Nong Ning Nang All the Mice go Clang! And you just cant catch em when they do! So its Ning Nang Nong! Cows go Bong! Nong Nang Ning! Trees go Ping! Nong Ning Nang! The mice go Clang! What a noisy place to belong,Is the Ning Nang Ning Nang Nong!

  Spike Milligan

  Tree, Tea, Ems

  Spike Milligan, “On The Ning Nang Nong”

  47 Copy quote

• I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.

  Spike Milligan

  Reading, Should, Sonnet

  "Spike Milligan with Jeremy Taylor Live at Cambridge University", December 2, 1973.

  37 Copy quote

• Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

  Spike Milligan

  Funny, Life, Happiness

  91 Copy quote

• Education isn't everything, for a start it isn't an elephant

  Spike Milligan

  Elephants

  23 Copy quote

• A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

  Spike Milligan

  Funny, Nature, Laughter

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  28 Copy quote

• I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)

  Spike Milligan

  Headstone, Ill

  27 Copy quote

• One day the "Don't Knows" will get in and then where will we be?

  Spike Milligan

  Funny, Humor, One Day

  16 Copy quote

• There are holes in the sky
  Where the rain gets in,
  But they're ever so small
  That's why rain is thin.

  Spike Milligan

  Rain, Sky, Holes

  Spike Milligan (2004). “The compulsive Spike Milligan”

  20 Copy quote

• And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.

  Spike Milligan

  Light, Waiting, Boards

  Spike Milligan (2004). “The compulsive Spike Milligan”

  23 Copy quote

• Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.

  Spike Milligan

  Men, Bus

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  6 Copy quote

• Money can't buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.

  Spike Milligan

  Funny, Life, Friendship

  32 Copy quote

• I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.

  Spike Milligan

  Health, Years, Body

  34 Copy quote

• General: Where are you from? Spike: London. General: Which part? Spike: ... Well, all of me.

  Spike Milligan

  London, Wells

  22 Copy quote

• Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

  Spike Milligan

  Order, Perfect, Kilts

  109 Copy quote

• Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.

  Spike Milligan

  Funny, People, Born

  Spike Milligan (2014). “Puckoon”, p.48, Penguin UK

  17 Copy quote

• Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.

  Spike Milligan

  Long, Life Is, Illness

  Spike Milligan (2004). “The compulsive Spike Milligan”

  12 Copy quote

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