Spike Milligan Quotes - Page 2

Quotes about:

• My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.

  Spike Milligan

  Funny, Fathers Day, Dad

  30 Copy quote

• Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.

  Spike Milligan

  Funny, People, Born

  Spike Milligan (2014). “Puckoon”, p.48, Penguin UK

  18 Copy quote

• In the human race today, you came last.

  Spike Milligan

  Race, Today, Lasts

  9 Copy quote

• Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.

  Spike Milligan

  Funny, Humor, Lost

  "The Last Goon Show of All", October 5, 1972.

  12 Copy quote

• Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.

  Spike Milligan

  Funny, Dog, Children

  "Indefinite Articles: Culled from His Newspaper Writings & Scunthorpe".

  8 Copy quote

• I can speak Esperanto like a native.

  Spike Milligan

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

  88 Copy quote

• To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don't want you singing at my funeral.

  Spike Milligan

  Funeral, Singing, Want

  9 Copy quote

• Her mother was a cultivated woman - she was born in a greenhouse

  Spike Milligan

  Mother, Inspiration, Born

  7 Copy quote

• God made nightButMan made darkness.

  Spike Milligan

  Darkness, Made

  Spike Milligan, Roger Sawyer (1995). “Spike Milligan, a celebration: the best of Milligan”, Virgin Pub

  13 Copy quote

• I have got so low that I have asked to be hospitalized and for deep narcosis (sleep). I cannot stand being awake. The pain is too much... Something has happened to me, this vital spark has stopped burning - I go to a dinner table now and I don't say a word, just sit there like a dodo. Normally I am the centre of attention, keeps the conversation going, - so that is depressing in itself. It's like another person taking over, very strange. The most important thing I say is 'good evening' and then I go quiet.

  Spike Milligan

  Depression, Depressing, Pain

  38 Copy quote

• For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string.

  Spike Milligan

  Hands, Years, Iron

  "The Goon Show, Season 7, Episode 25: "The Histories of Pliny the Elder"". TV Series, March 28, 1957.

  10 Copy quote

• Its all in the mind, you know.

  Spike Milligan

  Mind, Knows

  6 Copy quote

• I'm a hero with coward's legs.

  Spike Milligan

  Hero, Coward, Legs

  "Fictional character: Dan Madigan". "Puckoon", www.imdb.com. 2002.

  8 Copy quote

• Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.

  Spike Milligan

  Funny, Doctors, Office

  13 Copy quote

• We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.

  Spike Milligan

  Making Love, Truck, Carried Away

  9 Copy quote

• How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

  Spike Milligan

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

  54 Copy quote

• Archduke Franz Ferdinand Found Alive! First World War a Mistake!

  Spike Milligan

  War, Mistake, Alive

  23 Copy quote

• If a robin redbreast in a cage
  Puts all heaven in a rage,
  How feels heaven when
  Dies the billionth battery hen?

  Spike Milligan

  Heaven, Robins, Batteries

  18 Copy quote

• Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.

  Spike Milligan

  Love You, Heart, Science

  10 Copy quote

• I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.

  Spike Milligan

  Years, Laughing, Singing

  18 Copy quote

• I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.

  Spike Milligan

  Hands, Friendly, Arms

  17 Copy quote

• If you kill me, I promise you - you will never take me alive.

  Spike Milligan

  Promise, Alive, Kill Me

  5 Copy quote

• Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

  Spike Milligan

  Funny, Crazy, Silly

  The Last Goon Show of All

  14 Copy quote

• Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.

  Spike Milligan

  Beauty, Beautiful, Eye

  Spike Milligan (1993). “Hidden Words: Collected Poems”

  85 Copy quote

• If I don't eat soon, I'll die of hunger; and if I die, I won't eat soon.

  Spike Milligan

  Hunger, Dies, Ifs

  9 Copy quote

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