It usually takes two people to make one of them angry.
Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status.
You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.
Cleaning anything involves making something else dirty, but anything can get dirty without something else getting clean.
Most hierarchies are nowadays so cumbered with rules and traditions, and so bound in by public laws, that even high employees do not have to lead anyone anywhere, in the sense of pointing out the direction and setting the pace. They simply follow precedents, obey regulations, and move at the head of the crowd. Such employees lead only in the sense that the curved wooden figurehead leads the ship .
Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
I inherited my ability from both parents; my mother's ability for spending money, and my father's ability for not earning it.
If at first you don't succeed, you may be at your level of incompetence already.
Slump, and the world slumps with you. Push, and you push alone.
Ignorance once dispelled is difficult to reestablish.
Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.
Give a child enough rope and he will trip you up.
Before publishers' blurbs were invented, authors had to make their reputations by writing.
Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
A censor is an expert in cutting remarks. A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.
A lawyer is a man who helps you get what is coming to him.
Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings.
A bore is a person who lights up the room simply by leaving it.
Few of us ever test our powers of deduction, except when filling out an income tax form
Ignorance is the mother of research.
You can't cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water. Don't let yourself indulge in vain wishes.
America is a country that doesn't know where it is going but is determined to set a speed record getting there.
Competition in academia is so vicious because the stakes are so small.
The man who is always waving the flag usually waives what it stands for.
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