Chris Rock Quotes - Page 6

Quotes about:

• Every comedian has a moment in his life when he realizes he's a little bit different from everyone else. It's like being the only guy in a movie who sees the ghost. The ghost talks to you and you talk to him. Then you turn to your friend and say, "Hey. Do you see that ghost? And he says, What ghost?"

  Chris Rock

  Guy, Comedian, Different

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  7 Copy quote

• If Bill Gates woke up with Oprah's money he'd jump out the window.

  Chris Rock

  Investing, Bills, Window

  9 Copy quote

• School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man.

  Chris Rock

  Funny, School, Humor

  11 Copy quote

• You know, you get famous and you work in these weird jobs and you don't have a lot in common with people. But once you have kids, you have everything in common with everybody.

  Chris Rock

  Jobs, Kids, People

  4 Copy quote

• I took my AlDS test. You start reflecting... You start thinking about every nasty, skank-ass... It's like the movie Scrooge, and the Ghost of Pussy Past comes.

  Chris Rock

  Thinking, Past, Pussy

  "Chris Rock: Bigger & Blacker". TV Special, July 10, 1999.

  7 Copy quote

• My relationship with my daughter is gonna affect her relationship with men for the rest of her life... Sometimes I'm walking with my daughter. I'm pushing her in the stroller, and sometimes I just pick her up and stare at her, and I realize, my only job in life is to keep her off the pole.

  Chris Rock

  Daughter, Jobs, Men

  8 Copy quote

• Not a Harvard-type education, just a not-sticking-up-a-liquor-store-type education.

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Humor, Liquor Stores

  "Housekeeper Tells Her Side of Alleged Cell Phone Assault; High Profile Divorces Announced; "Basic Instinct 2" Finally Released". "Showbiz Tonight", edition.cnn.com. March 31, 2006.

  5 Copy quote

• Do you know what the good side of crack is? If you're up at the right hour, you can get a VCR for $1.50. You can furnish your whole house for $10.95.

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Humor, Vcr

  "Chris Rock: Bring the Pain". Documentary, Comedy, 1996.

  4 Copy quote

• People really cared more about women's hair. But nobody takes you seriously with Jheri curls is what we've deduced. If you got an Afro and you go "Fight the power" people will follow you. If you got a Jheri curl, people just laugh.

  Chris Rock

  Fighting, People, Laughing

  Source: film.avclub.com

  6 Copy quote

• The material comes from whenever you realize that you and someone else have something in common. So any conversation you've had more than once, anything you see happening to you that you see happening to a friend, you go, Hmmm, that's a situation I can make funny.

  Chris Rock

  Common, Realizing, Conversation

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  8 Copy quote

• Black movies don't have real names, they have names like Barbershop. That's not a name, that's just a location.

  Chris Rock

  Real, Names, Black

  12 Copy quote

• For me, anything goes when I pick up a mike. I'm not trying to hurt people - I try not to get too personal - but I look at myself as a reporter. If you can report on anything that has to do with pop culture, then why can't I make jokes about it? Yes, it hurts. But I figure that laughter sometimes starts from pain. You might wince, but then I know that I'm doing my job. The only thing I can do wrong is not be funny.

  Chris Rock

  Hurt, Jobs, Laughter

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  4 Copy quote

• I just remember that whenever I got really mad or passionate, like in an argument, people would laugh, and I'd be dead serious. It would happen a lot. So it was like, Gee, I've got something here.

  Chris Rock

  People, Mad, Laughing

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  7 Copy quote

• My goals were small. My goal was to become a big enough stand-up that I wouldn't have to do radio. I could sell out a club, which is like 300 seats. If I got big enough, I could sell before I got there, and I wouldn't have to get up at 6 in the morning to do radio. That was pretty much the dream. I had no idea I'd be playing Madison Square Garden or anything.

  Chris Rock

  Dream, Morning, Garden

  Source: www.avclub.com

  4 Copy quote

• Are we so desperate for entertainment that we will fall for a Trickless magician?? Saw a woman in half. Pull a rabbit out of a hat. Do something! What tricks does this guy have? "I'm in a box...and I ain't gonna eat.". "I'm in a box... and I ain't gonna eat!!" That ain't no trick! That's called living in the projects!

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Fall, Humor

  7 Copy quote

• In the world of animation, you can be anything you wanna be. If you're a fat woman, you can play a skinny princess. If you're short wimpy guy, you can play a tall gladiator. If you're a white man, you can play an Arabian prince. And if you're a black man, you can play a donkey or a zebra.

  Chris Rock

  Zebras, Princess, Men

  "Rock's Riff On Animation: Right On Or Really Wrong?" by Christine Champ, www.mtv.com. March 7, 2012.

  62 Copy quote

• America is the greatest country in the whole world.

  Chris Rock

  Country, America, World

  "Everybody loves Chris". Interview with Ed Pilkington, www.theguardian.com. January 7, 2008.

  4 Copy quote

• If a kid calls his grandma "Mommy" and his mama "Pam", he's going to jail!

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Grandma, Humor

  5 Copy quote

• It's easier to get on show business, the hard part is to maintain. Nobody stays famous forever.

  Chris Rock

  Forever, Easier, Shows

  Source: www.ebony.com

  4 Copy quote

• For the most part, comedy is the only fair part of show business.

  Chris Rock

  Comedy, Shows, Show Business

  Source: www.oprah.com

  9 Copy quote

• Community college is like a disco with books: "Here's ten dollars; let me get my learn on!"

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Book, Humor

  "Chris Rock: Bring the Pain". TV Special, June 1, 1996.

  4 Copy quote

• An entertainer's reputation as a live act is the most valuable thing he or she can have. If people know you give good shows, you'll never be broke for the rest of your life.

  Chris Rock

  People, Giving, Rest Of Your Life

  Source: www.oprah.com

  6 Copy quote

• People want what they want. And I guess that is a reason we have this big credit card problem and a lot of these foreclosures.

  Chris Rock

  People, Cards, Credit

  Source: www.avclub.com

  8 Copy quote

• They don't want you to vote. If they did, we wouldn't vote on a Tuesday. In November. You ever throw a party on a Tuesday? No. Because nobody would come.

  Chris Rock

  Party, Tuesday, Want

  "The Six Best Jokes From Wednesday Night’s Chris Rock Show at MSG". www.vulture.com. May 2, 2008.

  7 Copy quote

• Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders.

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Humor, Gun

  "Accidental Gun Control: Bullets Get Expensive". www.npr.org. May 21, 2008.

  30 Copy quote

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