Liquor Stores Quotes

• Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

  Ogden Nash

  Funny, Drinking, Beer

  "Reflection on Ice-breaking" l. 1 (1931)

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• Let schoolmasters puzzle their brain, With grammar, and nonsense, and learning, Good liquor, I stoutly maintain, Gives genius a better discerning.

  Oliver Goldsmith

  Giving, Brain, Intelligence

  'She Stoops to Conquer' (1773) act 1, sc. 1, song

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• Life, as the signs in the liquor stores say, is too short to drink bad wine. And summer is too short to read bad books.

  David Frum

  Summer, Book, Wine

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• Marijuana is not much more difficult to obtain than beer. The reason for this is that a liquor store selling beer to a minor stands to lose its liquor license. Marijuana salesmen don't have expensive overheads, and so are not easily punished.

  William F. Buckley, Jr.

  Beer, Marijuana, Law

  William F. Buckley, Jr. (1985). “Right Reason: A Collection”, Doubleday Books

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• I like to change liquor stores frequently because the clerks got to know your habits if you went in night and day and bought huge quantities. I could feel them wondering why I wasn't dead yet and it made me uncomfortable. They probably weren't thinking any such thing, but then a man gets paranoid when he has 300 hangovers a year.

  Charles Bukowski

  Drinking, Hangover, Night

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• I buy water at the liquor store across the street from where I live. So I'm walking into the door, and standing, loitering, outside the door is a man. And I walk by him to go in, and he says, "I want pussy!" Now, I don't want to seem conceited or anything, but he was talking about me!

  Sarah Silverman

  Conceited, Men, Doors

  "Fictional character: Sarah". "Sarah Silverman: Jesus Is Magic", February 11, 2005.

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• But really, what else are you going to talk about in line at the liquor store? Childhood trauma seems like the natural choice, since it’s the reason why most of us are in line there to begin with.

  Jenny Lawson

  Choices, Childhood, Lines

  Jenny Lawson (2012). “Let's Pretend This Never Happened”, p.16, Penguin

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• One side of the street is a Church; across the road is a liquor store. Both of 'em keepin us poor.

  Chuck D

  Rapper, Interesting, Alcohol

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• History is the heavy traffic that prevents us from crossing the road. We're not especially interested in what it consists of. We wait, more or less patiently, for it to pause, so that we can get to the liquor store or the laundromat or the burger bar.

  Mal Peet

  Waiting, Bars, Burgers

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• Being a parent is a life sentence. You see, that's why normal people should not have children because if you raise a kid with only love and support, I guarantee that kid will be in rehab by the time he is 16. Why? Because you never introduced him to Mr. Back-of-Your-Hand. You know why I only broke into a liquor store once? 'Cause my father introduced me to Mr. Back-of-His-Hand and its wiley sidekick, Mr. Foot-in-My-Ass.

  Christopher Titus

  Children, Father, Kids

  "Titus / The Visit". www.imdb.com. 2002.

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• Boy, a drive-through liquor store. God bless America! A place where you can drive through and buy whiskey, beer... just the thing for that drunk driver who's constantly on the go. Cant stop now! I've got places to go, people to hit!

  Drew Carey

  Beer, Boys, America

  "The Drew Carey Show". www.imdb.com. 1995 - 2004.

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• I prefer liquor store robbers with hungry kids to companies that locate offshore to avoid U.S. taxes.

  Warren Buffett

  Kids, Hungry, Taxes

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• Not a Harvard-type education, just a not-sticking-up-a-liquor-store-type education.

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Humor, Type

  "Housekeeper Tells Her Side of Alleged Cell Phone Assault; High Profile Divorces Announced; "Basic Instinct 2" Finally Released". "Showbiz Tonight", edition.cnn.com. March 31, 2006.

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• My wife says, and I agree with her, that what would be really great for Maine would be to legalize dope completely and set up dope stores the way that there are state-run liquor stores. You could get your Acapulco gold or your whatever it happened to be - your Augusta gold or your Bangor gold. And people would come from all the other states to buy it, and there could be a state tax on it. Then everybody in Maine could have a Cadillac.

  Stephen King

  Running, Dope, People

  Stephen King, Tim Underwood, Chuck Miller (1988). “Bare bones: conversations on terror with Stephen King”, McGraw-Hill Companies

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• These growth hormones, where can I get a bunch of them? Is there some way that, with electricity, you could stimulate your own growth hormones? Plug yourself in for five minutes, there'd be a little jolt, but you'd get used to it. It wouldn't be bad at all; in fact, you'd get to enjoy it, probably. Then away you'd go, and youth wouldn't be wasted on the young anymore. You'd be 25, with a 95-year-old mind. Granddad would start breaking into liquor stores and staying out late. Hope we have it soon!

  David Lynch

  Years, Growth Hormones, Mind

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• Outside the youth center, between the liquor store and the police station, a little dogwood tree is losing its mind; overflowing with blossomfoam, like a sudsy mug of beer; like a bride ripping off her clothes, dropping snow white petals to the ground in clouds, so Nature’s wastefulness seems quietly obscene. It’s been doing that all week: making beauty, and throwing it away, and making more.

  Tony Hoagland

  Beer, Clothes, Clouds

  Tony Hoagland, “A Color of the Sky”

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• I feel a certain amount of freedom just cruising to the liquor store to get water or whatever. It just feels good. It makes me feel young getting on the bike and - again, not going crazy, I do bunny-hops and I'll hit some curbs and stuff - but just feeling like a kid again.

  Matt Skiba

  Crazy, Kids, Water

  Source: www.avclub.com

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• I’ve never argued against any technology being used when you have an imminent threat, an active crime going on. If someone comes out of a liquor store with a weapon and fifty dollars in cash, I don’t care if a drone kills him or a policeman kills him.

  Rand Paul

  Technology, Drones, Dollars

  "Drone warfare politics change in Washington". "All In with Chris Hayes", www.nbcnews.com. April 24, 2013.

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• We know, for instance, that there is a direct, inverse relationship between frequency of family meals and social problems. Bluntly stated, members of families who eat together regularly are statistically less likely to stick up liquor stores, blow up meth labs, give birth to crack babies, commit suicide, or make donkey porn. If Little Timmy had just had more meatloaf, he might not have grown up to fill chest freezers with Cub Scout parts.

  Anthony Bourdain

  Suicide, Baby, Blow

  Anthony Bourdain (2010). “Medium Raw: A Bloody Valentine to the World of Food and the People Who Cook”, p.87, Bloomsbury Publishing

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• Sometimes they were together so often that it felt as though they really were a couple; sometimes weeks and months would go by before they saw each other. But even as alcoholics are drawn to the state liquor store after a stint on the wagon, they always came back to each other.

  Steig Larsson

  Couple, Together, Months

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• Should alcoholics go to liquor stores?

  Ally Carter

  Should, Alcoholics, Liquor

  Ally Carter (2011). “Heist Society”, p.86, Hachette UK

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• There, gleaming in the glow, was that ten-horsepower rotary engine under a seat. A key glistening in the ignition. I imagine the top speed for that old mower was five miles per hour. It might have taken an hour and a half or more for me to get to the liquor store, but get there I did.

  George Jones

  Taken, Keys, Half

  George Jones (2014). “I Lived to Tell It All”, p.140, Dell

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• The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies.

  Rush Limbaugh

  Should Have, Practice, Racist

  "The Rush Limbaugh Show", 1992.

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• Even a band of angels can turn ugly and start looting if enough angels are unemployed and hanging around the Pearly Gates convinced that all the succubi own all the liquor stores in Heaven.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Angel, Heaven, Band

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government”, p.194, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

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• I went downtown as a lawyer and then I worked in a liquor store at night, as I had done all through law school. And so when I got to the point where I could give up the night job, I joined the political club.

  David Dinkins

  Jobs, Giving Up, School

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