They tire of quiet, that have known the storm
I don't mind anything that's written about me, as long as it's not true.
The nowadays ruling that no word is unprintable has, I think, done nothing whatever for beautiful letters. ... Obscenity is too valuable a commodity to chuck around all over the place; it should be taken out of the safe on special occasions only.
It's not the tragedies that kill us; it's the messes.
At birth the Devil touched my tongue.
Those who have mastered etiquette, who are entirely, impeccably right, would seem to arrive at a point of exquisite dullness.
[On being shown an apartment by a real estate agent:] Oh, dear, that's much too big. All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
They sicken of the calm who know the storm.
Bewildered is the fox who lives to find that grapes beyond reach can be really sour.
Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
Don't feel bad when I die; I've been dead for a long time.
Now, look, baby, 'Union' is spelled with 5 letters. It is not a four-letter word.
I was always sweet, at first. Oh, it's so easy to be sweet to people before you love them.
Newton's Fourth Law: Every action has an equal and opposite satisfaction.
What ever beauty may be it has for its basis order and for its essence unity Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.
[On being told party guests were ducking for apples:] There, but for a typographical error, is the story of my life.
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.
There's life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.
The cleverest woman on earth is the biggest fool on earth with a man.
I like best to have one book in my hand, and a stack of others on the floor beside me, so as to know the supply of poppy and mandragora will not run out before the small hours.
all men are the same age.
Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, a medley of extemporanea, And love is a thing that can never go wrong, and I am Marie of Romania.
(Scottish Terriers) have all the compactness of a small dog and all the valor of a big one. And they are so exceedingly sturdy that it is proverbial that the only thing fatal to them is being run over by an automobile - in which case the car itself knows it has been in a fight.
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