Now, look, baby, 'Union' is spelled with 5 letters. It is not a four-letter word.
Drink and dance and laugh and lie, Love, the reeling midnight through, For tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.)
Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
Those who have mastered etiquette, who are entirely, impeccably right, would seem to arrive at a point of exquisite dullness.
The cleverest woman on earth is the biggest fool on earth with a man.
My land is bare of chattering folk; / the clouds are low along the ridges, / and sweet's the air with curly smoke / from all my burning bridges.
What ever beauty may be it has for its basis order and for its essence unity Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.
Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
It's not the tragedies that kill us; it's the messes.
I like best to have one book in my hand, and a stack of others on the floor beside me, so as to know the supply of poppy and mandragora will not run out before the small hours.
Bewildered is the fox who lives to find that grapes beyond reach can be really sour.
The Monte Carlo casino refused to admit me until I was properly dressed so I went and found my stockings, and then came back and lost my shirt.
There's life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.
(Scottish Terriers) have all the compactness of a small dog and all the valor of a big one. And they are so exceedingly sturdy that it is proverbial that the only thing fatal to them is being run over by an automobile - in which case the car itself knows it has been in a fight.
The nowadays ruling that no word is unprintable has, I think, done nothing whatever for beautiful letters. ... Obscenity is too valuable a commodity to chuck around all over the place; it should be taken out of the safe on special occasions only.
His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.
Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
Don't feel bad when I die; I've been dead for a long time.
If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.
I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
If I had a shiny gun I could have a world of fun Speeding bullets through the brains Of the folks that cause me pains :)
The only useful thing I ever learned in school was that if you spit on your eraser it erased ink.
I regret to say that during the first act of this, I fell so soundly asleep that the gentleman who brought me piled up a barricade of overcoat, hat, stick, and gloves between us to establish a separation in the eyes of the world, and went into an impersonation of A Young Man Who Has Come to the Theater Unaccompanied.
I can’t write five words but that I change seven.
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